I have judge-y friends. Two years ago: “Why’d you go and get a puppy?” Last year: “Why don’t you ever travel? I’d die if I didn’t get to travel.” Last month: “Why did you get another dog? As though you don’t have enough to do!” Last week: “Why did you take your sister? You have… Continue reading The Nuts in My Batter
Category: memoir
Too Tired to Boogie
The band room was a freezer. “Vamos a sentarnos en el pasillo, clase.” “What?” “We’ll sit in the hallway today.” It was zero degrees outside. The school district wanted a Spanish class but had no classroom for me. I’d complained a zillion times – when the band teacher held private tuba lessons in his office,… Continue reading Too Tired to Boogie
Getting a Sun Burn
You think you know someone. You’ve sat across from your brother in law at countless holiday meals. You raised your kids together, although far enough away that you only saw “the cousins” four or five times a year. You know George loves Monterey, but you didn’t know the whole story. You knew he’d been in… Continue reading Getting a Sun Burn
What Happened to Daisy?
Eighteen days ago, I got a rescue dog. I’d wanted to get another dog ever since I gave away Pepper’s buddy last summer to make room for my sister. No, the dog I gave away did not go to the pound. He is sixteen, incontinent, and blind. I gave him to my ex, where he… Continue reading What Happened to Daisy?
Costco After Arlie
My local Costco is always packed. People are competitive in my town, so look out if you think you’re going to park there on the day before Christmas, or New Year’s, or the day the new monthly ad comes out. The parking lot is tense with drivers competing for spots. Arlie, the Costco guy, died… Continue reading Costco After Arlie
Pennies from Heaven
When I was sixteen, I saved up my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead, I enjoyed the ambience of the place and the way my hair smelled when… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
I had lunch with my son yesterday. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,” he… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
Don’t Stand Up!
It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that I’ve… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
It’s Not Rocket Science
The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool in Hayward that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good… Continue reading It’s Not Rocket Science
Hey Jude
What is the song you sing when you are in a bind and need to calm yourself down, without the benefit of drugs? For me, it’s a Beatles song — my mantra, Hey Jude. Paul was my favorite Beatle growing up, and he does a great job repeating the lyrics, to the point that if… Continue reading Hey Jude
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 