The Day I Found my Voice

When you’re in the dog house, you are in trouble. You’ve done something bad. As a child, I was never in the dog house because we didn’t have one. We didn’t even have a dog. My mother had her own strain of weird expressions that she said to us kids on a regular basis, probably… Continue reading The Day I Found my Voice

Getting Away from all the No, No, No’s

My mom, bless her heart, had to keep five children in line, mostly by herself.  She did this by keeping everyone in his or her place, as in, “No, you can’t do that!” I just found out that my younger sister also wanted to play clarinet in the band, like I did. But I was… Continue reading Getting Away from all the No, No, No’s

The Benefits of a Hard Childhood

My childhood friend from Iowa called the other day. As we were comparing notes about our dysfunctional childhood households (hers with physical abuse, mine verbal), she mentioned the immigrant caravan at the border. “What are going to do about that?” she said. “Let in the women and children,” I said.  “I’m not sure about the… Continue reading The Benefits of a Hard Childhood

Not Your Typical Monday

Ellen DeGeneres has a special twelve-day Christmas giveaway on her show this month. I have rearranged my schedule to be at my sister’s board and care home at 4:00 each day so that we can watch the audience go wild when they get free stuff. It seems like a nice break from the fixer-upper shows… Continue reading Not Your Typical Monday

The Woes of Being a Shopkeeper

The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good pick-up line?… Continue reading The Woes of Being a Shopkeeper

Two Dates, Two Dolls

He was tall and lanky. She was short with a great smile. They were the leads in the school play at Des Moines Tech high school in 1947. They flirted on and off stage. They even had a kissing scene. Joanne knew Bill was the one. Bill asked her out. On their first date, he… Continue reading Two Dates, Two Dolls

A Tongue Twister

Donna met a guy named George through a group of friends.  She was about to have open heart surgery, so she didn’t feel much like flirting. George was average looking but persistent. He kept texting her before and after the surgery.  She thought he was into her, but then he insisted that she call him.… Continue reading A Tongue Twister