Trudy worked at an engineering firm. Joe was the visiting copy machine repair man, or as her office mates called him, the Xerox guy. One day Trudy had to make copies. Joe was at the machine, repairing away. “Oh,” she said. “No copies for me!” “Hey there,” Joe said. “We should catch dinner sometime.” “Okay.”… Continue reading Moon Over Lafayette
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — to lighten up her hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
Virtual Tip Jar Fail
I love live music, and the pandemic has made it harder to find. Some of the local bands have gone online, putting out their virtual tip jar while they play for an hour or two. Sometimes they are sponsored by a business, sometimes they do it from their apartments. I love the Beatles, so when… Continue reading Virtual Tip Jar Fail
The Uses for a Nine Year Old
My Girl Friday (who works for me on Mondays) has a daughter, who sometimes comes along with her to work. Now that her daughter is nine, she is useful in many ways. 1. She entertains my dogs. 2. She entertains my sister, giving her someone to watch. 3. She brings music into the house, since… Continue reading The Uses for a Nine Year Old
Creative People Make Messes
(re-run) If you’re an orderly person like Monk on the TV show of the same name, this column is not for you. You crave things in place, all the time. Otherwise, you get agitated. The other side of the coin is the person who is so busy creating that he/she doesn’t notice the mess. When… Continue reading Creative People Make Messes
I Wish You Would’ve Died
Imagine a white woman from Iowa teaching Spanish in a town that was one fourth Latino. Imagine coming into the classroom mid-year after a string of substitutes. On my first day, a student said, “You’re our 12th sub. How long are you going to last?” It was a brand new middle school in Ramona in… Continue reading I Wish You Would’ve Died
Build Me Up, Buttercup
(re-run) There’s a Geico commercial for motorcycle insurance that starts out with the introduction to one of my favorite songs – Build Me Up, Buttercup. Of course, I have to sing along. Buh, buh-duh, buh buh buh-duh, buh, buh-duh, buh buh buh-duh . . . Why do you . . . build me up, buttercup… Continue reading Build Me Up, Buttercup
Teaching in Nowhere-Nebraska Memories
After student-teaching in Caracas, Venezuela, and Des Moines, Iowa, at the local all-girls Catholic high school, I went to Spain for the summer to finish up my Spanish credits for my double Spanish-Elementary Ed degree, with a minor in teaching K-12. Then I was off to my job in Ashland, Nebraska, population 2000. The principal… Continue reading Teaching in Nowhere-Nebraska Memories
Weed Whacker Workout
(re-run) I’ve never owned or used a Weed Whacker. I’m an Iowa girl who pulls weeds by hand so they don’t come back. But this year is the exception. With record rainfall, the weeds are on steroids this spring. See photo. I ordered an electric weed whacker from my local hardware store since I didn’t… Continue reading Weed Whacker Workout
The Dog Who Thought He Was a Squirrel
When my middle kid went to college, I kept his Dachshund named Wiener. I asked him if he’d miss his dog at UCLA, and he said, “They have squirrels there, Mom.” As it turned out, Wiener thought he was a squirrel. Maybe not so much in the big marriage house, but when he got to… Continue reading The Dog Who Thought He Was a Squirrel
Philosopher at Ace Hardware
I was buying wood glue, potting soil and spray paint primer. The clerk asked how it was going and I said fine. I asked him how it was going for him, and he said he was over it, a weird response. Then I flipped over my bag of potting soil which had landed upside down… Continue reading Philosopher at Ace Hardware
Brain Fog, Dementia, or Something Else?
(re-run) I lay on the physical therapist’s table, running names of L countries from the cubby hole in my brain that held them. Laos, Lichtenstein, Latvia . . . Why couldn’t I think of the name of the country where my youngest had sneaked off to see, the summer after her four months in Jordan?… Continue reading Brain Fog, Dementia, or Something Else?
Leopard in a Tree and OCD
My girlfriend and her husband went on safari in Kenya. “You should do it!” she said. “It’s amazing! Just try it!” I have to admit that her photos were amazing – lions, lionesses, giraffes, elephants, some taken at very close range. When I saw the leopard in the tree photo, I had to ask how… Continue reading Leopard in a Tree and OCD
Another Dog Story
My water bill for the beach house arrived. It was $2500. Someone had left the hose running in the front yard. It could’ve been me. It could’ve been my neighbor. At any rate, I finally got the adjusted bill with $1900 taken off. Yes, I still have to pay $600, but that is much more… Continue reading Another Dog Story
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 