Trudy worked at an engineering firm. Joe was the visiting copy machine repair man, or as her office mates called him, the Xerox guy. One day Trudy had to make copies. Joe was at the machine, repairing away. “Oh,” she said. “No copies for me!” “Hey there,” Joe said. “We should catch dinner sometime.” “Okay.”… Continue reading Moon Over Lafayette
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — to lighten up her hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
Virtual Tip Jar Fail
I love live music, and the pandemic has made it harder to find. Some of the local bands have gone online, putting out their virtual tip jar while they play for an hour or two. Sometimes they are sponsored by a business, sometimes they do it from their apartments. I love the Beatles, so when… Continue reading Virtual Tip Jar Fail
The Uses for a Nine Year Old
My Girl Friday (who works for me on Mondays) has a daughter, who sometimes comes along with her to work. Now that her daughter is nine, she is useful in many ways. 1. She entertains my dogs. 2. She entertains my sister, giving her someone to watch. 3. She brings music into the house, since… Continue reading The Uses for a Nine Year Old
Motion Sickness and Me
I have a friend who likes to apply her make-up in my car after I’ve picked her up. That way she can save time while I drive. I get to drive in the HOV lane with a carpool. All was good until the day she sprayed perfume on herself with me a foot away from… Continue reading Motion Sickness and Me
The Day I Found my Voice
(re-run) When you’re in the dog house, you are in trouble. You’ve done something bad. As a child, I was never in the dog house because we didn’t have one. We didn’t even have a dog. My mother had her own strain of weird expressions that she said to us kids on a regular basis,… Continue reading The Day I Found my Voice
Age is Just a Number
The other day, a woman and her husband’s great aunt came over to buy pink floral plates for the younger woman’s daughter’s baby shower. They spent an hour as the mom held up dishes, asking the older woman her opinion. “I’m 98,” the great aunt said, “and there’s nothing wrong with me!” “I’m 71,” I… Continue reading Age is Just a Number
Dance with Me, Young Jeremy
(re-run) Every dance bar in Omaha ended the night with its signature song. One bar closed with Last Dance by Donna Summer, another used Shout from the Blues Brothers movie (by the Isley Brothers) as its sign-off song. But my fave dance bar closed with the song New York, New York. It seemed an odd… Continue reading Dance with Me, Young Jeremy
Peace Corps Fail
(re-run) It was in the spring of my first year of teaching when the call came. I was at Greenwood Elementary in Greenwood, Nebraska. I had applied to the Peace Corps the year before. They had just seen my application. They wanted to fly me to Chicago for an interview that weekend. They gave me… Continue reading Peace Corps Fail
Musical Cleaning Day (waiting for plumber)
(re-run) The plumber said he’d be here by mid-morning, but it wasn’t looking good. I worked on a review for a new children’s book coming out next month. I watched some Dry Bar Comedy while I digested my breakfast. That is no longer a multi-tasking feature of my aging body. Reflux. It’s best to let… Continue reading Musical Cleaning Day (waiting for plumber)
Theft of your Intellectual Property
(re-run) If you are a writer, then what you write belongs to you as your intellectual property. Be careful of critique groups and the people with whom you share your work. You must have an iron-clad agreement that your work is your work, and no one else is allowed to use it. This is a… Continue reading Theft of your Intellectual Property
Even Carmel Gets Weeds
(re-run) This morning was my Monday thrift store day in Carmel. It’s always Day Two of my trip to Monterey County, and it’s always first thing in the morning, before Highway One gets jammed with tourists heading to Point Lobos and Big Sur. The thrift stores are not in Carmel by the Sea. That part… Continue reading Even Carmel Gets Weeds
Saying Good-bye to My Grocery Store
My grocery store of 39 years is closing on July 17th. There is hardly anything left to buy. After my July 3rd party, I stopped in to get the ingredients for my famous cheesy green beans: five cans of green beans, a block of Swiss cheese, a tub of sour cream, and a can of… Continue reading Saying Good-bye to My Grocery Store
Judging from the Trends
(re-run) I was asked to judge a picture book contest. I’m a picture book author of 29 books and also a mom of past picture-book fans. Picture books are books with both words and art, usually 28 to 64 pages, and usually for young children. The gift book people have figured out how to put… Continue reading Judging from the Trends
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 