I love live music, and the pandemic has made it harder to find. Some of the local bands have gone online, putting out their virtual tip jar while they play for an hour or two. Sometimes they are sponsored by a business, sometimes they do it from their apartments. I love the Beatles, so when… Continue reading Virtual Tip Jar Fail
The Uses for a Nine Year Old
My Girl Friday (who works for me on Mondays) has a daughter, who sometimes comes along with her to work. Now that her daughter is nine, she is useful in many ways. 1. She entertains my dogs. 2. She entertains my sister, giving her someone to watch. 3. She brings music into the house, since… Continue reading The Uses for a Nine Year Old
The Blond-tourage
Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — lighten up your hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to you. So… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
Moon Over Lafayette
Trudy worked at an engineering firm. Joe was the visiting copy machine repair man, or as her office mates called him, the Xerox guy. One day Trudy had to make copies. Joe was at the machine, repairing away. “Oh,” she said. “No copies for me!” “Hey there,” Joe said. “We should catch dinner sometime.” “Okay.”… Continue reading Moon Over Lafayette
Not your Normal Fishing Trip
(re-run) Really, folks. You can’t make this stuff up. My fisherman friend, we’ll call him Pete, took a buddy and his boat and spent a day on the Delta where the Sacramento and San Joaquin Rivers meet Suisun Bay, which flows into San Francisco Bay and then the Pacific Ocean via San Pablo Bay. After… Continue reading Not your Normal Fishing Trip
Asinine Aspenite
(re-run) Pam was living in Aspen Colorado, being a ski bum by day and working as a waitress by night. It was her early twenties, and life was an adventure. She met a nice guy on the chairlift. He was a part-time construction worker and a part-time ski instructor. He asked her out that night,… Continue reading Asinine Aspenite
Murray, the Naughty Lab
Mary, the hair dresser, agreed to dog-and-house sit while one of her clients went to Cancun for a week. She was in charge of a ninety-pound chocolate lab named Murray. Cindy instructed Mary to walk Murray a couple times a day since he was only one and still had puppy energy. She told Mary to… Continue reading Murray, the Naughty Lab
Do the Hustle
(re-run) Guido met Marsha at a famous bar called Rex and Eric’s in Waikiki. He lived locally. She was on vacation. He’d put on his five gold chains, unbuttoned his billowy polyester shirt with the big collar to reveal just enough chest hair, stepped into a pair of black high-waisted pants that hugged his tight… Continue reading Do the Hustle
Horseback Riding on a First Date
(re-run) Juan met two women one night while dancing in a bar. He had a matchbook with one of the Donna’s phone numbers on it and another matchbook with the other Donna’s name and number on it. He couldn’t remember which was which, so he picked a matchbook and called. “Hi, this is Juan. Are… Continue reading Horseback Riding on a First Date
Hold the Crunch
(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Prom Be Gone
(re-run) It was supposed to be junior prom at Stoughton High, but it got cancelled (thirteen years before the movie Footloose). Patsy wasn’t going steady with anyone, so she wasn’t too upset. At the last minute the school arranged a dance in the high school gym, but with no decorations, no court (no prom queen),… Continue reading Prom Be Gone
Wiener Dog Versus Rat
(re-run) Long ago, when I had three school-aged children off at their respective schools, I sat at my desk writing during the quiet of the day, when I heard the Dachshund barking. He was somewhere in our spacious back yard. I ignored it at first, but when the barking didn’t subside, I decided I’d better… Continue reading Wiener Dog Versus Rat
Fleet Week and the $10,000,000 Lot
When I moved to the Bay Area, no one explained what Fleet Week was. But after many years, I finally figured it out — big ships, military stuff, the Blue Angels. The Blue Angels are six military jets that fly in formation by some amazing pilots. They fly over the city of San Francisco for… Continue reading Fleet Week and the $10,000,000 Lot
The Grass is Always Greener
(re-run) I had a meeting tonight with two girlfriends in solid hard-core relationships. One is married, the other is living with her guy. My relationship is with two roommates who fight a lot over squeaky toys and over who gets to go out the door first. They are roommates of the furry kind. So imagine… Continue reading The Grass is Always Greener
