(re-run) Elena lived in San Francisco. She went to the Cingular store to get a cell phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you… Continue reading Jerky Jokester
Category: worst
The Red-tailed Hawk and the Toddler Fence
(re-run) I’m a bird lover. I feed the song birds and the finches. I have an ongoing water supply in the form of a fountain in my back yard. I’ve planted native plants for the hummingbirds. When I hike, I am thrilled to find a hawk feather to add to my hat. Twenty-odd years ago,… Continue reading The Red-tailed Hawk and the Toddler Fence
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
(re-run) Ingrid had been on an online-dating website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
Sneaking into the Pool
(re-run) While student teaching in Venezuela, my roommate and partner in crime learned how to have fun with not much money. One of the American teachers had stolen a couple of striped beach towels from an upscale hotel, and she had been sneaking into the hotel pool for years. “Just carry the towel and act… Continue reading Sneaking into the Pool
Worst Neighbors Ever
(re-run) When I was twenty-eight, I bought my first house. It was in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever
Mountain Lion
(re-run) A mountain lion attack was reported on the news last night. A 24-year-old woman’s dog saved her life in Trinity Forest in Northern California. The mountain lion attacked the woman first, but her Belgian Malinois shepherd named Eva jumped in and is now in serious condition. Cub season is now until October. The lion… Continue reading Mountain Lion
How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
When my new science teacher announced on the first day of 7th grade that no one would get an A in his class if they didn’t make an insect collection, I was like, “NOOOOOOOO! I hate bugs!” My mother hated bugs. Her mother hated bugs. They hated mice, snakes, and dog poop, too. I walked… Continue reading How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
Beware of Craigslist?
(re-run) I’d sold a thousand dollars’ worth of tea cups and dinner plates the year before. When Sis moved in with me, I had to let all that inventory go. It hadn’t been selling that well on Etsy anyway, and Etsy had just changed its policies and had kicked me off their site. Why? Because… Continue reading Beware of Craigslist?
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
(re-run) They met online on okcupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 