When my new science teacher announced on the first day of 7th grade that no one would get an A in his class if they didn’t make an insect collection, I was like, “NOOOOOOOO! I hate bugs!” My mother hated bugs. Her mother hated bugs. They hated mice, snakes, and dog poop, too. I walked… Continue reading How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
Category: last
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
(re-run) They met online on okcupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
Worst Boss Ever
(re-run) Aside from the old-guy boss I had for ten days at the Iowa State Fair the summer after ninth grade, who took one look at my giraffe legs in my short culottes jumper I’d made in sewing class and demanded that I bend over to see if my butt would show (it didn’t), George… Continue reading Worst Boss Ever
Designer Dogs
(re-run) As I watched the end of the Oscars with my dog cozied up in the chair with me and my sister asking when she could go to bed, I thought back on the man I met two nights before, the one who wanted to get a Doodle Dane, a cross breed between a Great… Continue reading Designer Dogs
His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
(re-run) Holly moved from San Francisco to the East Bay and missed her old classmates. The smart kids and the popular kids had already established their cliques. She was an outsider. Holly had no close friends with which to share her excitement and concerns at Bishop O’Dowd High School, even though she was kind of… Continue reading His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
(re-run) The joke going around on social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
Jerky Jokester
(re-run) Elena lived in San Francisco. She went to the Cingular store to get a cell phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you… Continue reading Jerky Jokester
A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner
(re-run) Saundra met Duke online on Match. They agreed to meet at Scott’s Seafood restaurant in Walnut Creek for dinner. When she got there, he was already seated and waved her over. As she approached the table she noticed a dozen lavender roses in a vase. She remembered that Duke had asked her favorite color.… Continue reading A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner
The Contractor and the Jet Setter
(re-run) It was Tom, the contractor’s, umpteenth date on Match.com. The woman he matched with was from the same affluent town, was the same height as he was, and was ready to meet him at Bridges, the hot spot downtown with the best happy hour. But when Ellen walked in, she had on three inch… Continue reading The Contractor and the Jet Setter
The Contractor and the Jet Setter
(re-run) It was Tom, the contractor’s, umpteenth date on Match. The woman was from the same affluent town, was the same height as he was, and was ready to meet him at Bridges, the hot spot downtown with the best happy hour. But when Ellen walked in, she had on three inch heels and towered… Continue reading The Contractor and the Jet Setter
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 