Category: humor

Don’t Judge a Book

Posted in beer, best, California, dancing, garden, German, humor, language, music, Octoberfest, outdoors, pick-up lines, relationships, restaurant, singingLeave a comment

Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch black boots because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for dancing,”… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book

A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner

Posted in dating, relationships, humor, California, cars, online dating, last, dumping someone, meet and greet, family, dinner, gambling, NFL, Reno, lingerieLeave a comment

Saundra met Duke online on Match.  They agreed to meet at Scott’s Seafood restaurant for dinner.  When she got there, he was already seated and waved her over.  As she approached the table she noticed a dozen lavender roses in a vase. She remembered that Duke had asked her favorite color. As she sat down… Continue reading A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner

The Contractor and the Jet Setter

Posted in best, California, cars, chemistry, firsts, high heels, humor, jet setter, last, meet and greet, relationships, travelLeave a comment

It was Tom the contractor’s umpteenth date on Match.  The woman was from the same affluent town, was the same height as he was, and was ready to meet him at Bridges, the hot spot downtown with the best happy hour.  But when Ellen walked in, she had on three inch heels and towered over… Continue reading The Contractor and the Jet Setter

Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?

Posted in beach, best, boyfriend, California, cookies, dating, firsts, Girl Scouts, humor, husband, memoir, personal ad, relationships, vacationLeave a comment

She ran a personal ad in the Contra Costa Times:  Single white female looking for single Asian man.  Her two previous boyfriends had been Asian.  James called and left a message with his phone number on a Friday night. The next morning Pam checked her phone messages. She liked his voice as she listened to… Continue reading Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?

Be Careful What You Wish For

Posted in California, chorus, dogs, garden, humor, last, memoir, nature, outdoors, relationships, worstLeave a comment

I’ve lived in my little house for seven years and four months. The neighborhood is about 48 years old, and the trees that are here are huge. My pie-shaped lot is wide and shallow in the back.  Las Trampas Ridge is due west, beyond the freeway, but I could not see it because of the… Continue reading Be Careful What You Wish For

Cat Burglar

Posted in California, cats, college, dogs, door to door salesperson, humor, memoir, police officer, relationships, Southwestern Company, worstLeave a comment

I was in Fremont, California. It was the summer of 1975.  I had my sample case with me. I’d worn my hot pants to stay cool. I had already rung three dozen doorbells. Selling books door to door wasn’t always a cake walk.  It was lunchtime. I had one more doorbell to ring before I’d… Continue reading Cat Burglar

A Giants Date

Posted in athletes, baseball, California, contractor, control freak, dating, humor, online dating, San Francisco, sportsLeave a comment

Tom the contractor was a Giants fan. He found a similar-minded woman on Match. Tom’s friend had given him the tickets, field level seats at the third baseline, near the players’ wives.   Tom asked his date to meet him at his place so they could drive over to the stadium in San Francisco together. Rule… Continue reading A Giants Date