His name was Ryan, and he wore the brightest shirts – screaming teal, bullfighter red, and obnoxious orange. It was easy to pick him out of the crowd. He was a dancer at the Thursday night venues and would come find me each night for one dance. “I just want you to know,” he’d say… Continue reading Smooth Operator
Category: humor
Be Careful What You Wish For
(re-run) I’ve lived in my little house for seven years and four months. The neighborhood is about 48 years old, and the trees that are here are huge. My pie-shaped lot is wide and shallow in the back. Las Trampas Ridge is due west, beyond the freeway, but I could not see it because of… Continue reading Be Careful What You Wish For
The Flying Hammer and the Cleaning Lady
(re-run) Many moons ago, when I was the mother of three young children, my husband (now ex) said, “Let’s remodel the kitchen.” I stupidly agreed, not realizing that I would be the one to suffer through six weeks of no kitchen sink and six weeks of feeding my family with no way to cook anything… Continue reading The Flying Hammer and the Cleaning Lady
Hold the Crunch
(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Pavlov’s Perfume
(re-run) My girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, lest someone recognize her on this page, has a three-time rescue dog like mine. Hers also started out as a voluntary surrender puppy after his owner first lost a home in the Redding fire. Or possibly he was at the Redding shelter and got shipped out to make… Continue reading Pavlov’s Perfume
Almost Toast
(re-run) Marlene and her friend Beth came out to California from New Hampshire after college to work for Bank of America. They each made a new friend, and each new friend brought another friend to the party (plus one more) until they were a group of seven recent college graduates, living in the city of… Continue reading Almost Toast
Asparagus, Anyone?
(re-run) The farmhouse was next to the highway, close enough for me to hear the train come by every night, and far enough away from the tracks to get used to sleeping through it. No houses could be seen from any window — just trees, sky, and lots of cornfields. It was a peaceful place,… Continue reading Asparagus, Anyone?
Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
After moving to Omaha and teaching for a couple of years across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs, Iowa, I grew tired of driving a car that smelled like a mildewed basement. My poor Chevy Monza had suffered through a Nebraska flood back at the farmhouse, and the car stank. I couldn’t afford a new… Continue reading Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
Don’t Judge a Book
(re-run) Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch-heel black booties because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book
Chick and Velvet
She was an architect from Huntsville, Alabama. He was a car salesman from Scottsboro, just forty-one miles away. He was kind of cute — medium height with sandy brown hair. His name was Chick, short for Charles. They’d met at a wedding because the groom was late (another story). After a fun night of dancing… Continue reading Chick and Velvet
