Hold the Crunch

(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch

The Grass is Always Greener

(re-run) I had a meeting tonight with two girlfriends in solid hard-core relationships. One is married, the other is living with her guy. My relationship is with two roommates who fight a lot over squeaky toys and over who gets to go out the door first. They are roommates of the furry kind. So imagine… Continue reading The Grass is Always Greener

Date with a Cad

Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match.com and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as good… Continue reading Date with a Cad

DUI Date

(re-run) Lesley was a college freshman at UOP in Stockton when a big football player type guy asked her on a date. Lesley had already met his roommate, so she thought she was safe with Chad and said yes. Chad took Lesley to a party, but when his roommate came up to say hi to… Continue reading DUI Date

Pavlov’s Perfume

(re-run) My girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, lest someone recognize her on this page, has a three-time rescue dog like mine. Hers also started out as a voluntary surrender puppy after his owner first lost a home in the Redding fire. Or possibly he was at the Redding shelter and got shipped out to make… Continue reading Pavlov’s Perfume

Almost Toast

(re-run) Marlene and her friend Beth came out to California from New Hampshire after college to work for Bank of America. They each made a new friend, and each new friend brought another friend to the party (plus one more) until they were a group of seven recent college graduates, living in the city of… Continue reading Almost Toast

Must Be a Small Town

(re-run) I went to my favorite beach town for 24 hours to get away from it all. The weather was foggy, the weeds in my yard were thick, and my two dogs were fighting.  But three thrift stores in Carmel had their end-of-the-month half-off sales yesterday, so who cared about the weather, the weeds and… Continue reading Must Be a Small Town

Must Love Dogs

(re-run) John had a date with a woman named Sally. She had just rescued a dog and named it Muffin. John wanted to go skim boarding at the beach, and he asked Sally to come with him. Of course she had to bring Muffin, her Golden Retriever. When they got to San Gregorio beach a… Continue reading Must Love Dogs

Pennies from Heaven

(re-run) When I was sixteen, I saved up my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, black light posters and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead (I didn’t smoke cigarettes either), I enjoyed the ambience of… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven