(re-run) Right after college, I moved to a town with 2000 people and a bunch of pigs — real ones, the kind that grunt and poop and lift the gate latch with their noses. I saw something run past the window of my rented farmhouse. At first I thought it was a deer until I… Continue reading Most Eligible Bachelor
Category: worsts
Julie Takes a Ride
(the post that started it all) Julie and her friend, Denise, went to The Rusty Pelican on a Friday night. It was their go-to hang-out. But lately it had been heavy on girls’ night-out groups and light on eligible men. Would it be the same old, same old kind of night, or would Julie finally… Continue reading Julie Takes a Ride
Smooth Operator
(re-run) His name was Ryan, and he wore the brightest shirts – screaming teal, bullfighter red, and obnoxious orange. It was easy to pick him out of the crowd. He was a dancer at the Thursday night venues and would come find me each night for one dance. “I just want you to know,” he’d… Continue reading Smooth Operator
Bricks, Ricks, & Cardboard
(re-run) The college mixer was hosted by the men of Lorch House in Friley Hall, in the heart of the Iowa State University campus. Tappan House, the top two floors of Barton Hall, was invited. Yes, I am old. Yes, dorm floors are co-ed now. This was in the days of the dinosaurs, girl dinosaurs… Continue reading Bricks, Ricks, & Cardboard
Belly-up Beetle
(re-run) Curtis drove a1969 vintage Volkswagen Beetle. George, his wing man, brought the weed. They’d met their dates at a party. Stacy and Camille went to San Leandro High. Curtis and George went to Castro Valley. Curtis liked Camille. George got Stacy. They all partied at a friend of a friend’s house in Oakland until… Continue reading Belly-up Beetle
Worst Thanksgiving Eve Ever
I had to go to the doctor’s office the day before Thanksgiving. My finger was infected. I was lucky to get an appointment. I had eleven people coming for dinner the next day. I had no sitter and no luck of getting one, and no local relatives, so I loaded the three kids in the… Continue reading Worst Thanksgiving Eve Ever
False Alarm
(re-run) Donnie was a firefighter and had a date with Lisa from Match.com. The date was just okay, but he knew there were only two kinds of women, those he would sleep with and those he wouldn’t. Lisa was in the first category. According to Donnie, men never had a wait-and-see attitude about a woman.… Continue reading False Alarm
Six – Love
(re-run) Alan went into a disco bar in San Jose on a November night. He asked Donna, the woman with an amazing tan, to dance. Had she been to Hawaii? Mexico? The Bahamas? Alan didn’t ask her but admired her bronzed skin. The topic of tennis came up. Alan loved to play. So did Donna.… Continue reading Six – Love
First Dog, Lost Dog
(re-run) After moving to farm country to teach high school Spanish, I watched my roommate Kristy come home one day with a German Shephard puppy. “Meet Shane!” she said. She hadn’t asked me. She hadn’t asked the landlord. When she did ask him, his response was, “Not in the house.” Kristy made Shane a bed… Continue reading First Dog, Lost Dog
Me Too
(re-run) He was one of five professors in the tiny Spanish department at Iowa State. I had him for both semesters of Spanish Two, and I’d just landed a summer job, selling books door to door in a mystery state after a week’s training in Nashville. The bus for me and the other recruits was… Continue reading Me Too
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 