I have judge-y friends.
Two years ago: “Why’d you go and get a puppy?”
Last year: “Why don’t you ever travel? I’d die if I didn’t get to travel.”
Last month: “Why did you get another dog? As though you don’t have enough to do!”
Last week: “Why did you take your sister? You have burdened yourself for the next thirty years!”
Listen up, my judge-y friends, do not impose your values onto my life. I do/don’t do things to please myself, not you.
Least judge-y friend: “Your new dog is another nut folded into the batter of your life.”
Nut is right! She can scale a four –foot fence with ease. She’s a neurotic Jack Russell rescue nut.
Regarding the first dog: my neighborhood was having lots of break-ins. The old Dachshund wasn’t barking anymore.
Regarding the second dog: I’ve always had dogs in pairs. Dogs are happier with buddies and less work in the long run.
Regarding travel: I did it extensively in my twenties. I’ve been everywhere I want to go except places in the U.S. I travel to my favorite spot, Monterey, twice a month. No, I don’t go alone. You think I’d leave a bowl of cereal next to the recliner? No, my sister comes with me. Thanks for asking.
Of course I take the dogs. They love it down there. New squirrels to bark at, seagulls to chase.
Regarding thirty years: no one can predict the future. Thirty years maybe, probably not. That would put my sis and me into our nineties.
I know I am not the typical senior divorcee in the singles’ club. I do not ride my bike for 40 miles on Saturday mornings. I don’t go diving in Cozumel. I don’t caravan to Moab, Utah, with thirty other people. I don’t do online dating. I don’t want to do any of those things.
In my cake batter, I have Zumba, chorus, picture books to write, books to review, blog posts, dog walks, occasional bar dancing to live music, and Ellen Degeneres at 4:00 with a Fudgsicle for my sis and me.
Dog training? A perfect time to do it, in the winter, with no street fairs, concerts, or parties to miss.
An old boyfriend said to me at the Christmas party, “I don’t know why you burden yourself with your sister and your children.”
Seriously? My adult kids? A burden? Not in my way of thinking. They are my family. Plus, I chose my sister.
My batter is filled with things important to me (not you) – writing, singing, dancing, exercise, sister, offspring, dogs. This is not to say that the recipe won’t change someday. But for now, this is the cake that I choose to make.
Listen, you don’t have to have a bite of it. I won’t criticize your life choices, so please, don’t impose your own recipe onto mine.
I have judge-y friends.