Two weeks ago, I tried to burn my house down. I came home in time to turn off the burner under the hard-boiled eggs. Eight of them had become missiles and hung in pieces from every surface in the kitchen. Four of them turned black in the Teflon pan. When I put the key in… Continue reading Return to the Scene of the Crime
Category: California
The Dog Crate Disaster
(re-run) When my pup was just over a year old, the Ghost Ship Fire happened in Oakland. 36 people died in a warehouse that had been converted into artist co-op with an illegal dance club on the second floor. When the fire started, the young people dancing upstairs were trapped, and they died. Tragedy. Every… Continue reading The Dog Crate Disaster
The Single Dad and the Dental Hygienist
(re-run) Bob’s friend had a dental office, and Bob would stop by to visit. Joy, the married dental hygienist, offered to fix him up with single clients getting their teeth cleaned. If the women were game for a blind date with Bob, he was game, too. Joy would call Bob with the woman’s phone number.… Continue reading The Single Dad and the Dental Hygienist
Where’s the Beef Going?
My sister fell out of her recliner at her nursing home (board and care home, actually) and landed on her face and her glasses. The glasses were badly bent, so I needed to go to Costco on the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING to see if they would bend them back into shape with their magical optical… Continue reading Where’s the Beef Going?
The Day Grandma Got Woke
(re-run) My mom loves to watch Ellen. It’s usually fun and games, with hunky guys and Ellen playing tricks on her guests and staff. She rounds out the hour with lesbian jokes, a musical performance by some obscure band, and Ellen surprising some needy but giving person with $10,000 in cash. Then the death of… Continue reading The Day Grandma Got Woke
The Six Stages of Thanksgiving
(re-run) I am having Thanksgiving at my house today for nine or ten people. I say that because my brother-in-law may or may not show up. There is lots of football to be missed if he comes ninety minutes north to my house. It will be me, my three kids, my two sisters, my niece… Continue reading The Six Stages of Thanksgiving
Another Brush with Nature
(re-run) My beach town has a state-run conference center in it, with rustic buildings designed by the architect, Julia Morgan. It’s what got me here back in the late 80s and 90s, attending a writer’s conference next to the ocean. Over the years. I’ve seen brown state-issued signs posted for mountain lion sightings. I’ve never… Continue reading Another Brush with Nature
The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
(re-run) Every morning, as I sit at my kitchen table putting up my blog post and sipping on strong tea, a robin comes near the back porch to meet its reflection in an upside-down chrome dog bowl. The robin does a little dance in front of the bowl. The reflection does a dance back to… Continue reading The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
Head in the Clouds Harry
(re-run) Margo met Harry at the Appalachian Mountain Club, an organization for sporting events in Boston. He was athletic looking with a nice smile. He asked her to go on a short hike with him in New Hampshire. She agreed to drive separately and meet him at the trailhead since she had a dinner to… Continue reading Head in the Clouds Harry
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 