My sister fell out of her recliner at her nursing home (board and care home, actually) and landed on her face and her glasses. The glasses were badly bent, so I needed to go to Costco on the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING to see if they would bend them back into shape with their magical optical tools.
Sis’s nursing home is just a half mile from Costco. I told myself that if there was a parking spot, I’d go inside, but if there wasn’t one, I’d go to CVS and find her some temporary reading glasses.
The parking-space gods were shining their lights upon me as I pulled into Costco at 3:15 and found three empty spots in a row. I took the closest spot and went inside, dodging people pushing shopping carts after they passed through check-out, and one lost elderly lesbian couple looking dazed at being there.
In the optical department, I was waited on immediately. I explained how Sis had landed on her face.
“Is she alright?” the middle-aged woman asked.
“Yes, just a bruise on her eyebrow.”
“Did you buy these here?”
“I don’t know,” I said, knowing full well that I had not.
“If I bend the stem and it breaks . . .”
“You’re not liable,” I said. “I know.”
To keep the woman entertained while she worked on the glasses, I mentioned that I needed to get some Beyond burgers on the trip.
“How are those, any good?”
“My son likes them.”
“But what do they taste like?”
“Like beef,” I said.
“But what are they made out of?” she asked.
“Plants,” I said.
“Why won’t he eat real beef?” she asked.
“He doesn’t believe in eating animals.”
Then I mentioned how bad raising cattle is for the planet and how no one will be eating beef in 50 years or so, IMHO.
“The millennials are changing everything,” I said.
“I’m picky about my food,” she said. “I only eat free-range beef.”
“With the climate crisis, we need to stop eating beef,” I said. “It takes a lot of energy to produce it.”
“But then what will happen to the cows?” she asked.
“They won’t breed cows anymore.”
I touched on the bacon crisis and how Iowa pig farmers aren’t willing to make their pig pens big enough to pass California requirements.
“Will the cows just be running free?” the woman asked.
You really can’t make this stuff up. People do not know how their food is made. A young woman posted on Facebook to stop killing farm animals and to just get your meat at the grocery store.
People, I am from Iowa. Farmers raise animals to send them to slaughter. 4-H kids raise animals and then sell them to the highest bidder to become someone’s dinner.
This is why my adult children won’t eat beef. One won’t eat beef or poultry, but seafood is okay, and one won’t eat any animal, ever.
It was a successful and mostly painless Costco run. I got the glasses fixed for free and a blog post, to boot.
I also got the Beyond burgers and a double set of Spiderman 3-D puzzles for the toy drive. They are way cool.