I often dream about finding a public bathroom to use right before I wake up. It’s because I have to pee. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in a crowded restaurant and when I went into the bathroom, there were tables in there with groups of women seated around them. I stood at the… Continue reading To Pee or Not to Pee
Category: relationships
It Just Depends
They had the same hair dresser. She was coming in as he was going out. He asked for her phone number. She gave it to her hairdresser to give to him. There aren’t too many eligible men in their seventies, especially one that still had his hair! Garth took Gladys to a nice Japanese restaurant.… Continue reading It Just Depends
To Flirt or Not to Flirt
They found each other on Match. They had both lost their spouses. Don said he was looking for a good Catholic widow. He was involved with the arch diocese in Oakland. Sue was a recovering Catholic but thought maybe he was a solid guy. She agreed to meet him for coffee. He was good-looking and… Continue reading To Flirt or Not to Flirt
Getting Away from all the No, No, No’s
My mom, bless her heart, had to keep five children in line, mostly by herself. She did this by keeping everyone in his or her place, as in, “No, you can’t do that!” I just found out that my younger sister also wanted to play clarinet in the band, like I did. But I was… Continue reading Getting Away from all the No, No, No’s
The Woes of Being a Shopkeeper
The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good pick-up line?… Continue reading The Woes of Being a Shopkeeper
A Tongue Twister
Donna met a guy named George through a group of friends. She was about to have open heart surgery, so she didn’t feel much like flirting. George was average looking but persistent. He kept texting her before and after the surgery. She thought he was into her, but then he insisted that she call him.… Continue reading A Tongue Twister
Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
The joke going around social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they will be… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
In Australia, there is a Holstein steer that is six feet, four inches tall. That’s one big bovine! I first heard about him on the nightly news tonight. Then I Googled the guy to see what else I could find out about him. His name is Knickers. He is too big to fit in the… Continue reading The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
Trip to the ER
It was Labor Day weekend. We needed to get a handle on the mess in the garage. I asked my oldest to watch my youngest while we parents worked outside. She was nine, in 4th grade already for a week, and the baby was almost two and a half. Then a series of unfortunate events… Continue reading Trip to the ER
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 