(re-run) You’ve got to help out us Boomers. We try to be cool and stay relevant, but it’s hard, you know, since we grew up in different times. Our thumbs won’t be arthritic by the time we’re old. I know this because I’m already there, and my thumbs are fine. I did strain the third… Continue reading Butt Text Emojis and Other Stuff
Category: memoir
Belly-up Beetle
(re-run) Curtis drove the Volkswagen, 1969 vintage Beetle. Smoking George, his wing man, brought the weed. They’d met their dates at a party. Stacy and Camille went to San Leandro High. Curtis and George went to Castro Valley. Curtis liked Camille. George got Stacy. They all partied at a friend of a friend’s house in… Continue reading Belly-up Beetle
Worst Boss Ever
(re-run) Aside from the old-guy boss I had for ten days at the Iowa State Fair, who took one look at my giraffe legs in my short culottes jumper I’d made in sewing class and demanded that I bend over to see if my butt would show (it didn’t), George was the worst boss ever.… Continue reading Worst Boss Ever
Worst Kindergarten Teacher Ever
(re-run) She was thin, blond, and beautiful. When Mama left me in her care, I was enthralled with her, my very first teacher. Her name was Miss Tatz, and she was the lone teacher in the community building at Urbandale Lions Park, an overflow situation for the school district. Even though it was sixty years… Continue reading Worst Kindergarten Teacher Ever
The Story of my Picker
When I had a shop, it attracted lots of individuals who wanted to sell me antiques. Some of them had good stuff. Others had junk. Many wanted too much for their inherited mementos. One old guy brought me cracked and chipped tea cups and got mad when I wouldn’t buy them at any price. A… Continue reading The Story of my Picker
My Inherited Dog, Boomer
(re-run) Boomer was never my dog, although he came into my care when I married his owner. I’m not sure how old he was when I got him. My dog, Tess, was two and Boomer was older. A small, part Beagle-part terrier, Boomer had not had a regular dog’s life. He had never eaten dog… Continue reading My Inherited Dog, Boomer
Government Cheese and Pinto Beans
I was nine or ten when my mom took me and my younger siblings downtown to a place to get some free food for poor people. Our dad was out of work for six weeks. My mother was humiliated. We waited in line until it was our turn. As the worker handed Mom her block… Continue reading Government Cheese and Pinto Beans
Just for the Halibut
Father’s Day has come and gone. I saw many black and white photos of men on Facebook, people my age honoring their deceased dads. I didn’t have a good photo of Dad to post, just silly ones or childhood ones. It never occurred to me 34 years ago that I would someday want a good… Continue reading Just for the Halibut
Watch Out for the Green Pepper
I can’t eat green pepper. I can’t eat a lot of things. The older I get, the more things I need a certain way to keep me happy. When I was four years into a past relationship, I knew it was in trouble when the boyfriend started adding green pepper to everything he served me.… Continue reading Watch Out for the Green Pepper
Off the Power Grid
The power is out. I was in the middle of a movie when everything shut off. Soon my neighbors were texting me, asking me to report the outage to PG& E. The more the better, they said. A few minutes after that, I received a robocall. The outage was affecting 5000 customers. The power also… Continue reading Off the Power Grid
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 