(re-run) I had lunch with my son today. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,”… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
Category: humor
A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner
(re-run) Saundra met Duke online on Match. They agreed to meet at Scott’s Seafood restaurant for dinner. When she got there, he was already seated and waved her over. As she approached the table she noticed a dozen lavender roses in a vase. She remembered that Duke had asked her favorite color. As she sat… Continue reading A Victoria’s Secret Box with Dinner
The Contractor and the Jet Setter
It was Tom the contractor’s umpteenth date on Match. The woman was from the same affluent town, was the same height as he was, and was ready to meet him at Bridges, the hot spot downtown with the best happy hour. But when Ellen walked in, she had on three inch heels and towered over… Continue reading The Contractor and the Jet Setter
Sally’s Downward Dog Disaster
The first Women’s March was the next day. Sally went to her friend, Lisa’s, to make a poster for the march. Several women showed up, ready to drink some wine and to think of clever sayings for their signs. Sally already had her slogan: No Uterus – No Opinion. Lisa’s cute little rescue dog, Yogi,… Continue reading Sally’s Downward Dog Disaster
Don’t Get a Sun Burn
You think you know someone. You’ve sat across from your brother in law at countless holiday meals. You raised your kids together, although far enough away that you only saw them four or five times a year. You know George loves Monterey, but you didn’t know the whole story. You knew he’d been in the… Continue reading Don’t Get a Sun Burn
Memories Light the Corners of my Mind
(re-run) I used to be good at remembering people’s names and remembering to use coupons before they expired. Now I am lucky if I can find the coupon when I am at the store. Today, at CVS, I checked out and was given a long receipt with $6.00 of extra bucks on it. My new… Continue reading Memories Light the Corners of my Mind
Long-playing Ski Buddies
(re-run) Ellen was in charge of the ski cabin for the In Skiers in San Mateo. Mark joined the Powder Hounds even though he was just a beginner. Mark called Ellen to arrange for a room in the InSkiers cabin. Ellen had a cold and sounded like Lauren Bacall when she answered. Mark liked that.… Continue reading Long-playing Ski Buddies
Joe Average
Emily met Joe on Match. They both liked the Giants. They both lived in Livermore, although he worked in Alameda and had to get up early at 4:00 a.m. for his job. Joe made an exception to stay up late one night so he could meet Emily for dinner. Emily had looked forward to meeting… Continue reading Joe Average
The Story of my Rescue Puppy, Pepper
I laughed out loud. I had joked about a getting a pit bull, and the universe had dropped two of them in my path.
Date with an Older Man
(re-run) I said yes. To a date. With a much older man. My girlfriend met him and didn’t approve. But she also said she wouldn’t dance with any guy she wouldn’t want to kiss. I dance with everyone – men, women, kids – many of whom I would never put my lips on. Does dancing… Continue reading Date with an Older Man
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 