I said yes. To a date. With a much older man. My girlfriend met him and didn’t approve. But she also said she wouldn’t dance with any guy she wouldn’t want to kiss.
I dance with everyone – men, women, kids – many of whom I would never put my lips on. Does dancing have to be sexualized, like everything else in America? Can’t a girl (old lady) dance just because she wants the happy endorphins she gets from moving to the music? Must every invitation to dance come with strings attached? I say no. I can dance just to have fun.
If an older guy gets the impression that I am interested in him because I danced with him, am I obligated to go out on a date if he asks? My rule is to give everyone a chance. As in one, as in, I will know by the end of the date if there is any chemistry or not.
I am at a point in my life where I have a comfortable routine, with my writing, singing, dancing, dog walking, sister visiting, and playing with single girlfriends, helping them in times of sickness and sorrow. The older we women get, the more we need each other. Then a man comes along and wants us to drop our lives to become fully entrenched in his. I believe that is why so many older women do not get remarried. We don’t want to start over. We like our lives as they are. If you will take us this way, then we will say yes.
We have cooked, cleaned, and washed for men in our pasts. This time we would have to be bat-shit crazy about someone before we will sign up for that again. We have our children and won’t be having any more. Yes, it’s nice to have someone some of the time, especially at the holidays, but most of the time I am happy with the way things are.
I can eat lunch at three o’clock and call it linner or dunch. No need to cook a meal in the evening. I don’t need the extra calories, and it’s hard to sleep after a big meal, anyway. In the morning I can write until nine a.m. in my pajamas before I have to get dressed. I can watch a chick flick at 4:00 p.m. and then go out dancing at 8:00. I can climb into my bed with my crazy rescue dog and get a good’s night sleep, free from snoring (except my own), cover stealing (except for the dog’s) and bad dreams (except for the political ones).
I go hiking twice a month with a senior hiking group. We are called DASH, but we should be called PLOD ALONG WITH MANY BREAKS. It’s an easy-going group of twenty or so every time. A single girlfriend asked me if there were any eligible men in the group.
“Nope, they are married and older,” I said.
“Then why are you hiking with them?” she asked.
“Because I like to hike and need the exercise,” I said.
Does everything I do have to be about meeting a potential mate? I say no.
Another friend said I should join a gym and would find plenty of guys to date.
Gyms are not my cup of tea. I used to go to Curves until it closed, and now I exercise at a senior center with a comedienne for a class instructor. Her drop-in class packs them in, sometimes as many as fifty seniors at once, the older people off to the sides or in the back row, while the young uns, fifty five to sixty-nine, stand up front.
Except for Dottie. She is 85 and sassy (her words, not mine), and still in the front row next to me. The most eligible guy in that class is at least ten years older than I am, plus he’s married (so not). That’s okay. I still prefer Strength Training class to a gym.
I was at the big thrift store on Tuesday (senior day), and as I was loading my treasures into my car, a man got out of his car next to mine and said, “¡Buenos días, senorita!”
“¡Buenos días!,” I said to him as he headed to the store. “¿Cómo está Usted?”
The man was surprised and turned back toward me.
“¡Bueno!” he said.
After that little exchange, I had to laugh. He mistook me for a young woman (señorita), because I was in exercise clothes, had long hair, and wore sunglasses that covered up my crow’s feet wrinkles. He was happily surprised that I answered him in Spanish.
His comment bueno was more about me speaking Spanish than his response to how he was. That would’ve been answered as bien, not bueno. At any rate, we both smiled at the exchange, albeit for different reasons.
I am an easy-going person most of the time. I don’t do drama (have had enough to last a lifetime in my childhood and then again in my marriage). I’ve had disappointment too many times to count.
Will this date change my life? Will this older man be a keeper?
It’s highly unlikely, but we shall see.
Couldda Wouldda Didda
I found a date without going online. We’ve already had the meet and greet on the dance floor.