After college, I lived in a town with 2000 people and a bunch of pigs — real ones, the kind that grunt and poop and lift the gate latch with their noses. I saw something run past the window of my rented farmhouse. At first I thought it was a deer until I put on… Continue reading This Little Piggy
Category: humor
Wonderful White Elephant Sale
The biggest, most organized sale I’ve ever seen is the Oakland Museum’s white elephant sale . The Oakland Museum’s Women’s Board hosts the sale in a warehouse off Fruitvale that they own outright. Parking is tough, but once you’ve found your spot, get ready to shop till you drop. The Sunday preview sale is a… Continue reading Wonderful White Elephant Sale
Dive Bar Dancing
I never imagined that I’d still be dancing in bars at this age. But hey, a girl’s got to dance, and in the winter the live music in in the bars. So here I sit, waiting for my girl friend, who is dumping her grumpy guy tonight to come dance with me. She’s got a… Continue reading Dive Bar Dancing
Best Dog, Worst Dog
She was under a rusted-out Ford pick-up truck that looked as though it had been parked there for decades. Her sister was an ugly black and white Australian blue heeler/Brittany spaniel mix. She wasn’t much prettier. “Are you sure you want that one?” my future husband asked. I looked at the black spot on top… Continue reading Best Dog, Worst Dog
The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
Every morning, as I sit at my kitchen table putting up my blog post and sipping on strong tea, a robin comes near the back porch to meet its reflection in an upside-down chrome dog bowl. The robin does a little dance in front of the bowl. The reflection does a dance back to the… Continue reading The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
Mr. Huggable
His name on Plenty of Fish was Mr. Huggable. Her name was Charming Classic. She didn’t know yet that first dates are better as a coffee meet and greet, not a full-blown lunch. They agreed to meet at El Charro, a nice Mexican restaurant in Lafayette. It was set for 1:00 in the restaurant bar… Continue reading Mr. Huggable
Lady Doritos
PepsiCo, have you been paying attention? This is the year of #metoo, #timesup and the second year of the Women’s March. This is the worst time to be introducing girly snacks , when the whole point of the aforementioned movements is to treat women THE SAME as men are treated. Men don’t get raped (well,… Continue reading Lady Doritos
A Good Dog Neighbor
Yesterday my son and I had lunch together at the local sandwich shop. He brought his little dog, half Chihuahua, half terrier. I fed Violet scraps of lettuce under the table while we ate. She thinks she’s a vegetarian. Afterward, we followed the usual routine and came back to my house, where Violet could run… Continue reading A Good Dog Neighbor
Asinine Aspenite
Pam was living in Aspen Colorado, being a ski bum by day and working as a waitress by night. It was her early twenties, and life was an adventure. She met a nice guy on the chairlift. He was a part-time construction worker and a part-time ski instructor. He asked her out that night, to… Continue reading Asinine Aspenite
Prince Not So Charming
He was dressed as Prince Charming. I was dressed as a 1930’s nurse from Samuel Merritt Nursing School in Oakland, admittedly a weird Halloween costume, but the woman at the estate sale had practically given it to me after I bought $200 worth of antiques for my vintage shop. My friend, Nancy, her niece, and… Continue reading Prince Not So Charming
