The joke going around social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they will be… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
Category: best
The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
In Australia, there is a Holstein steer that is six feet, four inches tall. That’s one big bovine! I first heard about him on the nightly news tonight. Then I Googled the guy to see what else I could find out about him. His name is Knickers. He is too big to fit in the… Continue reading The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
Woodstock or Work?
In 1969 Max Yasgur’s pig farm in upstate New York sounded like the place to be for three days and three nights. Frank had been delivering the Woodstock tickets for weeks on Long Island at his job as a summer letter carrier for the U.S. Post Office. He and the other summer carriers knew it… Continue reading Woodstock or Work?
Tattoos for You
I look around and see athletes with tattoos, ex-military people with tattoos, mothers of small children with tattoos . . .
Shop Till You Drop
We had already hit two thrift stores and were heading for a third. Then I remembered that Vickie wanted to go to the ones in Carmel. I turned onto Forest Avenue and took the winding highway 68 through the Monterey pines. It would lead to the new roundabout that would send the traffic north to… Continue reading Shop Till You Drop
The Politics of Dating
(Dialogue on a first date between senior man and senior woman) “You look nice.” “Sorry I am late.” “Let me tell you about my third wife.” “I have two dogs.” “I used to work on defense missiles.” “You must like to play video games.” “I like you.” “I am not a Republican, but I bet… Continue reading The Politics of Dating
Date with a Cad
Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as good… Continue reading Date with a Cad
I Said Yes
I said yes. To a date. With a much older man. My girlfriend met him and didn’t approve. But she also said she wouldn’t dance with any guy she wouldn’t want to kiss. I dance with everyone – men, women, kids – many of whom I would never put my lips on. Does dancing have… Continue reading I Said Yes
Plain Jane
My middle name is Jane. I don’t love it. There was a commercial in the 70’s for hair dye, I think. I remember the line,” Don’t be a plain Jane.” After that I disliked both my middle name and my hair color. There was another commercial in that decade that said, “Boys don’t make passes… Continue reading Plain Jane
Phantom of the Halloween Party
Roberto put on his white mask and black cape and headed to WPLJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to dance… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 