Knickers, the Overachieving Steer

In Australia, there is a Holstein steer that is six feet, four inches tall.  That’s one big bovine! I first heard about him on the nightly news tonight.  Then I Googled the guy to see what else I could find out about him.

His name is Knickers.   He is too big to fit in the slaughterhouse equipment.  He is an overachiever. I can relate to him. I was one, too.

It was 6th grade and time for parent-teacher conferences.  My mom went to the conference at the high school, where the sixth grade classes had taken over one wing. My teacher, Mrs. Markovitz, told her this:  “Your daughter’s not that smart, but she is an overachiever.”

Of course my mom came home and told the entire family what my teacher had said.

I was a hard worker back then. I am still a hard worker.  Am I an overachiever? Yes, but only because I have OCD.  I never got officially diagnosed, but I seemed to be the only one in my peer group that always imagined the worst possible outcome of everything involving fun.

Rollercoaster?  Nope, it might malfunction, and I would plunge to my death.

Rollerskating? Nope, I might fall and break my arm.

Ice skating? See above (other arm).

Egging the mean girl’s house? No, I waited in the car. What if we got caught?

Swimming in the dark nude? Nope, I might get a cramp, and then what?

Riding down the spillway while drunk? Well, anybody with half a brain knew that was a bad idea.

As I got older, I realized it was OCD holding me back from doing fun stuff.  So I went to South America to student-teach and rode on those suicide buses on steep mountain roads.

I flew to Spain and studied for one summer.

I signed up to teach Spanish in Nebraska! If that wasn’t a leap of faith, I don’t know what was.

I made everyone in my family a velour shirt for Christmas in two days, even though I didn’t have anyone’s measurements (okay, that might’ve been manic, bi-polar behavior, not OCD).

I moved to California and drove up mountain roads to teach high school.  Another leap of faith.

I got a puppy when I was sixty!

Where did that OCD voice go?  It’s still there. I just tell it to get in the OCD box and stay.

I heard a comedian say that bi-polar people are only miserable half the time, and the rest of the time is great!

I think I got off topic here. Sorry.

Knickers is probably not bi-polar. What would that look like in a steer, anyway?  He probably doesn’t have OCD either.  He’s just a regular steer living his simple life in the outback of Australia. So what if he’s head and shoulders above the other cattle? Inside, he’s just a regular steer in a extra-large body.

As long as we know he’s not that smart, just an overachiever, it’s all good.

 

 

 

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