If you think is going to be about sex, I hate to disappoint you, but no. I had my first massage in two months today. I wore a mask, he wore a mask, it was hard to breathe while putting my head in that little oval hole while wearing an N-95. It is left over… Continue reading Magic Fingers During Covid-19
Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
(re-run) She ran a personal ad in the Contra Costa Times: Single white female looking for single Asian man. Her two previous boyfriends had been Asian. James called and left a message with his phone number on a Friday night. The next morning Pam checked her phone messages. She liked his voice as she listened… Continue reading Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
Grizzly Bear!
(re-run) An Amazon robot punctured a can of Bear Mace, sending 80 employees to the hospital before Christmas. It reminded me of this true account told to me at a holiday party. In 2008 you take your wife, Liza, and your teen-aged kids to Alaska. You stay near the Princess Lodge in a fishing cabin… Continue reading Grizzly Bear!
Belly-up Beetle
(re-run) Curtis drove the Volkswagen, 1969 vintage Beetle. Smoking George, his wing man, brought the weed. They’d met their dates at a party. Stacy and Camille went to San Leandro High. Curtis and George went to Castro Valley. Curtis liked Camille. George got Stacy. They all partied at a friend of a friend’s house in… Continue reading Belly-up Beetle
The Darwin Awards
The world is insane. A snowstorm is predicted for the East Coast. It’s Mother’s Day weekend. The local news station reported that scientists may take llama antibodies for Covid-19 and give them to humans to see if it would help with immunity. Does that mean the humans might start spitting when they are angry? The… Continue reading The Darwin Awards
Date with a Cad
(re-run) Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as… Continue reading Date with a Cad
Getting Carded – Those Were the Days
Thinking back to the days when we had to show our I.D. to get into a club to dance and drink, I, for a moment this morning, while in the early-bird old people line at Costco, was ready to whip out my driver’s license and prove that I am over 60. When I got to… Continue reading Getting Carded – Those Were the Days
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
Sally’s Downward Dog Disaster
(re-run) The first Women’s March was the next day. Sally went to her friend, Lisa’s, to make a poster for the march. Several women showed up, ready to drink some wine and to think of clever sayings for their signs. Sally already had her slogan: No Uterus – No Opinion. Lisa’s cute little rescue dog,… Continue reading Sally’s Downward Dog Disaster
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 