When the family Dachshund was two, he started pooping in the upstairs hallway. This was not okay with me. I found a dog trainer named Sheila who came to the house and worked with the entire family. That first session was an eye opener. Sheila hooked Wiener’s collar to a leash, and when Wiener snapped… Continue reading Worst/Best Dog Trainer Ever
Category: worst
The Third Date Rule?
After Sue became a widow, her adult children were protective of her dating online. They had her send them a profile photo, an address, and phone number for each guy she dated. One of them was an anesthesiologist named Don. Sue’s son’s friend knew Don since he was in the medical field. Sue felt safe… Continue reading The Third Date Rule?
The Racist and the Ficus Tree
When I was young, the one black boy in my elementary school was my classmate. His name was Teddy. This was white-white-white Iowa in the 60’s. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Van Cura, got angry at the class one day for misbehaving and said, “Whoever doesn’t behave will have to play with Teddy at recess.”… Continue reading The Racist and the Ficus Tree
Mr. No Class
They met online through a singles website (not the swiping one). Tom lived and worked in Napa. Carin lived less than an hour away in the San Francisco East Bay on a horse ranchette with her seven horses. She ran a small upscale hair salon. After much texting and talking, they got together for dinner… Continue reading Mr. No Class
Chuck’s Drive-in Movie Date
Chuck drove his powder blue Bonneville Pontiac to pick up his new girlfriend for their drive-in movie date his senior year of high school. He had tricked out the interior of the car with his two taxidermy quail in the car’s back window on a bed of shag carpeting. When he drove the car at… Continue reading Chuck’s Drive-in Movie Date
Worst Mom Ever
(re-run) As a mother, choose your words and actions carefully, for eighteen years! Mom to three grown children, I still hear about the horrible things I said and the awful things I did to them as children. Oldest daughter with her dad’s dark heavy eyebrows: me, to her as a teen, “You might want to… Continue reading Worst Mom Ever
First Date with a Stoner
(re-run) You said yes to the guy who asked you out two years ago and you turned him down. Now he has shown up at a dancing venue in Concord on the same day you wondered whatever happened to him. You see, he lives in San Francisco and you live in Suburbia. Then you agree… Continue reading First Date with a Stoner
Behind Closed Doors
I read a great memoir about a girl’s tough childhood, with violence, danger, and an abusive older brother. I recommended it to Facebook friends online. A friend said she didn’t like it because she didn’t think the book rang true. “The Mormon part or the survivalist part?” I asked her. “Neither.” She didn’t think anyone… Continue reading Behind Closed Doors
Plain Jane
My middle name is Jane. I don’t love it. There was a commercial in the 70’s for hair dye, I think. I remember the line,” Don’t be a plain Jane.” After that I disliked both my middle name and my hair color. There was another commercial in that decade that said, “Boys don’t make passes… Continue reading Plain Jane
Popsicles, Light Carpet, and Stitches
(re-run) It was Labor Day weekend. We needed to get a handle on the mess in the garage. I asked my oldest to watch my youngest while we parents worked outside. She was nine, in 4th grade already for a week, and the baby was almost two and a half. Then a series of unfortunate… Continue reading Popsicles, Light Carpet, and Stitches
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 