Plain Jane

My middle name is Jane. I don’t love it. There was a commercial in the 70’s for hair dye, I think. I remember the line,” Don’t be a plain Jane.” After that I disliked both my middle name and my hair color.
There was another commercial in that decade that said, “Boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.” It was a commercial for contact lenses, if I remember correctly.
But the worst commercial back in the day was for hair remover. The girl simply shaved her legs for the tall dorky guy, but when the big ripped stud muffin came along, she needed smoother legs. Talk about innuendo!
If that weren’t enough, the announcer said, “Take it off. Take it all off!” The commercial implied that the girl needed to buy Neet or Nair or whatever it was. I always felt bad for the tall dorky actor.
There were sexist ads back then, and there are sexy ads now. I just saw one last night. Body by Victoria.
Puh leaze!
I’d like to say we’ve made progress. And maybe we have, a little. Not all the dorky girls and guys in the commercials are white. Now they are all shades of color. That’s a step forward.
But women are still objectified in, let’s see, beer ads, car ads, laundry ads, oh, and Victoria’s Secret ads.
So when the new dancing guy friend at the park said he liked me because I didn’t wear any make-up, I liked that. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that yes, I had on a full face of help, just not as heavy as others.
“See her?” he said, pointing to a woman my age. “Too made up. It’ll take a putty knife to take it off.”
I get it. He likes the natural look. The plain Jane. The girl in glasses. The one who uses a razor to shave her legs for the dorky guy.
It’s refreshing to hear. He’s Medicare age. I’m two years younger. He’s talking to me, dancing with me, not some young thing in her late forties.
Yes, he’s taken. But he’s a big flirt, and it’s fun to hang with him. He’s a guy, and he dances – like a maniac.
I like that in a senior citizen.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda
I could wear more make-up, but should I? I save the heavy putty jobs for Halloween.

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