Roberto put on his white mask and black cape and headed to WPLJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to dance… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
Category: worst
The Red-tailed Hawk and the Toddler Fence
I am a bird lover. I feed the song birds and the finches. I have an ongoing water supply in the form of a fountain in my back yard. I’ve planted native plants for the hummingbirds. When I hike, I am thrilled to find a hawk feather to add to my hat. Twenty-odd years ago,… Continue reading The Red-tailed Hawk and the Toddler Fence
OCD and Me
I often dream about finding a public bathroom to use right before I wake up. It’s because I have to pee. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in a crowded restaurant and when I went into the bathroom, there were tables in there with groups of women seated around them. I stood at the… Continue reading OCD and Me
Be Careful What You Wish For
(re-run) I’ve lived in my little house for seven years and four months. The neighborhood is about 48 years old, and the trees that are here are huge. My pie-shaped lot is wide and shallow in the back. Las Trampas Ridge is due west, beyond the freeway, but I could not see it because of… Continue reading Be Careful What You Wish For
A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
PK lived in Jersey when her friend’s mum was terminally ill in Boston. When her friend called to say her mother had died, PK woke up feeling bad but thought it was the heat. She wanted to go to the funeral and surprise her friend. She loaded up her three-year-old daughter and took off for… Continue reading A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
The Bonus Daisy Post
(re-run from 2018) Normally I write about my rescue dog on a monthly basis, on her adoption anniversary date, the 26th of October. Consider this a bonus post, since she has been making news these past two days. Every morning I get into the hot tub with my cup of black tea, and Daisy perches… Continue reading The Bonus Daisy Post
Worst/Best Dog Trainer Ever
When the family Dachshund was two, he started pooping in the upstairs hallway. This was not okay with me. I found a dog trainer named Sheila who came to the house and worked with the entire family. That first session was an eye opener. Sheila hooked Wiener’s collar to a leash, and when Wiener snapped… Continue reading Worst/Best Dog Trainer Ever
The Racist and the Ficus Tree
When I was young, the one black boy in my elementary school was my classmate. His name was Teddy. This was white-white-white Iowa in the 60’s. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Van Cura, got angry at the class one day for misbehaving and said, “Whoever doesn’t behave will have to play with Teddy at recess.”… Continue reading The Racist and the Ficus Tree
Chuck’s Drive-in Movie Date
Chuck drove his powder blue Bonneville Pontiac to pick up his new girlfriend for their drive-in movie date his senior year of high school. He had tricked out the interior of the car with his two taxidermy quail in the car’s back window on a bed of shag carpeting. When he drove the car at… Continue reading Chuck’s Drive-in Movie Date
Worst Mom Ever
(re-run) As a mother, choose your words and actions carefully, for eighteen years! Mom to three grown children, I still hear about the horrible things I said and the awful things I did to them as children. Oldest daughter with her dad’s dark heavy eyebrows: me, to her as a teen, “You might want to… Continue reading Worst Mom Ever
