Worst Mom Ever

As a mother, choose your words and actions carefully, for eighteen years! Mom to three grown children, I still hear about the horrible things I said and the awful things I did to them as children. Oldest daughter with her dad’s dark heavy eyebrows: me, to her as a teen, “You might want to pluck… Continue reading Worst Mom Ever

Jerky Jokester

(re-run) Elena lived in the city. She went to the Cingular store to get a phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you want… Continue reading Jerky Jokester

Grabby Guy’s Goodness

Brenda was a grad student at Tufts in Boston. She was tired of dating and was thinking of getting her doctorate in nutrition after she got her Master’s degree. Brenda’s two roommates, who were also a couple, told Brenda she needed a night out to go dancing. Brenda got ready and then waited for them… Continue reading Grabby Guy’s Goodness

The Grass is Always Greener

(re-run) I had a meeting tonight with two girlfriends in solid hard-core relationships. One is married, the other is living with her guy. My relationship is with two roommates who fight a lot over squeaky toys and over who gets to go out the door first. They are roommates of the furry kind. So imagine… Continue reading The Grass is Always Greener

Waitresses Make the Best Tippers

(re-run) After moving to Omaha and teaching for a couple of years across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs, Iowa, I grew tired of driving a car that smelled like a mildewed basement. My poor Chevy Monza had suffered through a Nebraska flood back at the farmhouse, and the car stank. I couldn’t afford a… Continue reading Waitresses Make the Best Tippers

Scavenger’s Delight

(re-run) My neighbors give away good stuff. Last year, a neighbor moving to Oregon kept piling stuff on his driveway for us to take until he got the house emptied. His wife and kids had gone on to Oregon ahead of him. I made a haul of a plastic wagon, flower pots, a rolling garden… Continue reading Scavenger’s Delight

The White Album

(re-run) The last time I saw the Beatles cover band in the Santa Cruz mountains hippie town of Felton, I noticed that most of the crowd was coupled off, and most of the couples didn’t dance. They were too old, having been die-hard Beatles fans for fifty years. It was a shame. The floor is… Continue reading The White Album

It’s a Jungle Out There

(re-run) I saw a coyote yesterday during my strength and training class at the senior center. There are so many people in the drop-in class that I have to stand right in front of the glass doors, with a view of the hills filled with wild turkeys, birds, and now Wiley Coyote. My back hurts… Continue reading It’s a Jungle Out There

He Met Her at Work

(re-run) Troy had the best job for meeting women. He was a parks worker for the city of Clayton, which contracted with the county for a workforce from the work alternative program. In other words, drunk drivers and those with misdemeanors could work off their time instead of paying fines. He was their supervisor. Katie,… Continue reading He Met Her at Work

Don’t Judge a Book

(re-run) Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch black boots because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book