(re-run) She ran a personal ad in the Contra Costa Times: Single white female looking for single Asian man. Her two previous boyfriends had been Asian. James called and left a message with his phone number on a Friday night. The next morning Pam checked her phone messages. She liked his voice as she listened… Continue reading Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
Category: humor
Joe Average
(re-run) Emily met Joe on Match. They both liked the Giants. They both lived in Livermore, although he worked in Alameda and had to get up early at 4:00 a.m. for his job. Joe made an exception to stay up late one night so he could meet Emily for dinner. Emily had looked forward to… Continue reading Joe Average
You Know You’ve Been Alone Too Long When . . .
(re-run) It’s week ten or eleven of the Covid-19 lockdown — I’ve lost track. I found out in a Zoom meeting last night that two more people that I know had a nasty virus in March that caused them to lose their sense of smell and taste. They are both well over sixty, as are… Continue reading You Know You’ve Been Alone Too Long When . . .
Looking for Jade in Alaska
(re-run) Sophia was living in Sonoma County and took her new dog to the beach. The black lab needed a name. An old man was there looking at pebbles in the water. She struck up a conversation with him, and he told her he was looking for Jade. On the way home, Sophia decided Jade… Continue reading Looking for Jade in Alaska
Queen Victoria, the Cat
(re-run) Renee, the artist, already had three cats. She wasn’t looking for another. So when her daughter-in-law called and said, “Mom, you need to adopt this cat,” Renee was thinking, No way, Renee. But then she heard the kitty’s story, and she had to reconsider. Renee’s son Brian and his wife were moving to Tennessee… Continue reading Queen Victoria, the Cat
No New Year’s Resolutions for Me
(re-run) Today’s the day I am supposed to resolve to do better, work harder, exercise more, and eat clean. Guess what? I learned long ago to do things in baby steps. It takes twenty-one days to form a new habit. Sometimes I can do it if I don’t think too hard about it. Like yogurt.… Continue reading No New Year’s Resolutions for Me
Nature’s Prayer Moment
(re-run) Yesterday morning I stepped up to the kitchen sink to fill the tea pot and looked out my window at the flowers exploding in my yard. I glanced over to the fountain where I saw dozens of identical birds taking drinks in a clumped up circle around the top of my round fountain. Their… Continue reading Nature’s Prayer Moment
The Missing GPS Gene
(re-run) The women in my family are spatially challenged, as in which way is south? West ? North? East? I remembered that the northwest corner of the basement was supposed to be the safest place in case of a tornado, but I had no idea which corner that would be. Now that I live near… Continue reading The Missing GPS Gene
How to Relax for Bed
(re-run) I decided to close my online costume shop this past summer. I donated 500 dresses to a charity for 3rd world girls and sorted through my aprons, pulling out all the hostess ones, the sheer ones not for cooking. I had 150 of them. I gave them to my local thrift store, the one… Continue reading How to Relax for Bed
How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
(re-run) Yesterday at the natural stone store where I went to look at their granite, the guy that helped me mentioned that his friend’s German Shepherd puppy kept biting his owner. Puppies do that because they are exploring their world. They are babies using everything as their personal teething rings. When my lab mix Pepper… Continue reading How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
