humor – Page 29 – FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date

April 23, 2023April 23, 2023 Posted in California, dating, firsts, gym, honesty, humor, Match.com, online dating, weight loss, worstLeave a comment

(re-run) Ingrid had been on an online-dating website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date

Taking Stock of the Garden

April 12, 2023April 12, 2023 Posted in drought, drought-tolerant plants, Facebook, flowers, garden, Girl Scout camp, humor, memoir, native plants, porch, rats, rose, trees, wisteria, yardLeave a comment

Four years ago today, my garden was in full bloom. I know this because Facebook showed me my garden photos from 2019. The plants are way behind this year from all the rain and wind storms. The roses aren’t blooming yet. The wisteria has just started to bloom. The potted plants either drowned in open… Continue reading Taking Stock of the Garden

Worst Neighbors Ever

April 7, 2023April 7, 2023 Posted in abuse, children, dogs, humor, memoir, Nebraska, neighbors, relationships, worstLeave a comment

(re-run) When I was twenty-eight, I bought my first house. It was in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever

Moochy Mc Moocherson

April 4, 2023 Posted in BMW, boyfriend, California, cars, clueless, dancing, dating, firsts, homeless, humor, losers, relationships, winery, worstLeave a comment

Then it dawned on her that Eric might actually live in his BMW.

My Fake-Coffee Half Hour

March 26, 2023March 26, 2023 Posted in blog, blog posts, coffee, Diet Coke, Facebook, GERD, humor, memoir, names, relationships, Spanish, Spanish class, stomach, stomach issues, wineLeave a comment

(re-run) It’s funny how a person’s perception of what is good changes with the circumstances. I used to look forward to my can of Diet Coke every day until I reached my mid-forties. Then the stuff was too hard on my stomach, and I gave it up. I used to look forward to my cup… Continue reading My Fake-Coffee Half Hour

The Bathroom Post

March 23, 2023March 23, 2023 Posted in colon, colonoscopy, Costco, dating, dating profile, digestive system, diverticulitis, diverticulosis, endoscopy, ER, gastroenterologist, humor, laxatives, memoir, poopLeave a comment

(re-run) Nobody talks about it, except those red bears on the toilet paper commercial. Everybody poops. Or they at least try to. Older folks often have trouble in this department because the body is less efficient, and everything slows down, especially the digestive system. My days of eating nachos for lunch are over, my friends.… Continue reading The Bathroom Post

There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy

March 22, 2023March 22, 2023 Posted in aging, birds, bitchiness, cake, caregiver, elderly woman, grocery store, hair dye, hardware store, humor, rats, relationships, vector controlLeave a comment

(re-run) I should’ve called it My Bitchy Saturday but opted instead for the title above. It started off with the grocery store clerk putting my bag of apples at the bottom of the bag, then placing two dozen eggs, a pound of turkey, and a container of cake on top of them. Yes, I bought… Continue reading There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy

Weekend Away

March 20, 2023March 20, 2023 Posted in beach, clean-up, dogs, humor, memoir, storms, thrift store, wind, winterLeave a comment

For me, it’s 120 miles from door to door. I can usually get there in two hours over five highways and get back in two and a half hours, unless it’s Sunday morning and everyone (light traffic) is going 75 mph. Even with the planned detour for road construction, I still made it in two… Continue reading Weekend Away

Mountain Lion

March 18, 2023March 18, 2023 Posted in biking, California, escape, hiking, humor, memoir, Mendocino, nature, relationships, survival, Van Damme State Park, Washington, worstLeave a comment

(re-run) A mountain lion attack was reported on the news last night. A 24-year-old woman’s dog saved her life in Trinity Forest in Northern California. The mountain lion attacked the woman first, but her Belgian Malinois shepherd named Eva jumped in and is now in serious condition. Cub season is now until October. The lion… Continue reading Mountain Lion

Dating in your Sixties

March 15, 2023March 15, 2023 Posted in abortion, dating, farting, female issues, humor, memoir, Planned Parenthood, politics, Roe v. Wade, seniorsLeave a comment

(re-run) There are many reasons why dating in your 60s is hard – wrinkles, scars, bad breath, missing teeth, surprise farting, family issues, and the biggest one – different politics. Politico announced yesterday that the Supreme Court is gearing up to overturn Roe v. Wade, the landmark case in 1973 regarding a woman’s right to… Continue reading Dating in your Sixties