(re-run) Elena lived in San Francisco. She went to the Cingular store to get a cell phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you… Continue reading Jerky Jokester
Category: humor
Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
(re-run) Pam ran a personal ad in the Contra Costa Times: Single white female looking for single Asian man. Her two previous boyfriends had been Asian. James called and left a message with his phone number on a Friday night. The next morning Pam checked her phone messages. She liked his voice as she listened… Continue reading Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
Oh No, Not the Warriors!
(re-run from 2018) Last week I took Sis to the hospital for a Barium Swallow test. We had just settled into the waiting room when an elderly woman with a cane came in the door. She had to go around Sis’s wheelchair to get to the check-in window. “Am I at the right place?” she… Continue reading Oh No, Not the Warriors!
Letting Go
(re-run) My cars sit out every summer since there’s no way they can go into the garage. Fires are burning north of here and have been for weeks. The Bay Area air is smoky. I look at the blue plastic tubs of flammable clothing and think, “It would take days for all of this to… Continue reading Letting Go
Parking Lot Pick-up
(re-run) Edith and Laura were bored. It was Saturday night, and they’d been at their all-girls’ school, Holy Names, for a whole week. It was time to find some guys, to find a party. They pulled into Berkeley and headed for Fraternity Row. Laura spotted someone she had dated before and rolled down the window.… Continue reading Parking Lot Pick-up
Hold the Crunch
(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in Jif, the new peanut butter to rival Skippy. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste-test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
(re-run) I had lunch with my son yesterday. We tried to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,” he… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
(re-run) Ingrid had been on an online-dating website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
Taking Stock of the Garden
Four years ago today, my garden was in full bloom. I know this because Facebook showed me my garden photos from 2019. The plants are way behind this year from all the rain and wind storms. The roses aren’t blooming yet. The wisteria has just started to bloom. The potted plants either drowned in open… Continue reading Taking Stock of the Garden
Worst Neighbors Ever
(re-run) When I was twenty-eight, I bought my first house. It was in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 