He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date


Ingrid had been on an online-dating website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He was her first Match date who was a doctor.
His Match photo showed him in a swimming pool with water up to his shoulders. Ingrid wasn’t much of an athlete, but she agreed to meet Fred at his gym for a work-out date.
“I go there at least three times a week,” he said, “sometimes more.”
Ingrid was self-conscious about meeting at a strange gym but decided to suck it up and meet him. She waited at the juice bar but didn’t see the man from the Match photo.
Then a huge man walked over, grinning. “Ingrid!”
He weighed at least 350 pounds. He hadn’t told her. His photo was from way back when, at least 150 pounds lighter.
‘I didn’t recognize you,” Ingrid blurted. “I mean, your photo!”
“Oh, that was taken before I hurt my back,” he said.
Ingrid held on to the juice bar stool to keep the room from spinning. This guy had lied about his appearance and had lied about his weight problem. He had requested a work-out date! Oh, the irony of it all. Was she a bad person for not wanting to keep the date? He was obese. He had deceived her.
“I’m not going to be able to keep the date,” Ingrid said. “I am so sorry. You really caught me by surprise.”
“It’s okay,” Fred said. “Why don’t you stay and take a class or something, as my guest?”
Ingrid caught her breath. Yes, she would stay and take the yoga class.
“Thanks,” she said. “I will do that.”
“I’ll update my photo soon,” Fred said. “I promise.”
Ingrid waved to him and headed into class for her favorite pose, downward dog.

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda
If Ingrid would’ve given Fred a chance, he would’ve learned to eat healthy foods and lose 100 pounds. They would’ve married in the fall and then had two sets of twins in three years. Ingrid would become the receptionist at their new diet clinic after the younger set of twins entered middle school. Fred would die of a massive heart attack when he was 52. Ingrid would remarry four years later and keep a framed photo of the love of her life in her top dresser drawer.

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