Two weeks ago, a plumber came over, crawled under the house, tried to sell me new pipes for the entire house and an overpriced water heater, then left without closing up the trap door in my master bedroom closet. When I discovered the open hole a few hours later, I was sure a rat had… Continue reading The Visitor from the Crawl Space
Wasabi on a First Date
(re-run) Garth and Gladys went to the same hair dresser. She was coming in as he was going out. He asked for her phone number. She gave it to her hairdresser to give to him. There aren’t too many eligible men in their seventies, especially one that still had his hair! Garth took Gladys to… Continue reading Wasabi on a First Date
Living with OCD
(OCD) I always knew I was different in the way I perceived the world. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but Instead of needing to do classic hand washing or constantly worrying about germs, I had other weird rituals, like never leaving the house without a Kleenex and needing to have a regular routine. I married… Continue reading Living with OCD
My Past Life as a Cat Burglar
(re-run) I was fifteen hundred miles away from home. It was the summer of 1975. I had my sample case with me from Southwestern Books. I’d worn my hot pants to stay cool. I had already rung three dozen doorbells. Selling books door to door wasn’t always a cake walk. It was lunchtime. I had… Continue reading My Past Life as a Cat Burglar
A Scavenger’s Life
(re-run from 2019) I see value in things that others don’t see. It can be blessing and also a problem. That paper bag? Take it to my favorite thrift store. The plastic bag the newspaper comes in? A poop bag on a dog walk. A cracked dinner plate? A water-catch for a ceramic pot. So… Continue reading A Scavenger’s Life
Pontoon Boat Disaster
(re-run) My parents didn’t swim. When we went on vacation at Clear Lake, Iowa, and Dad wanted to take us out in a rented pontoon boat, my mom objected. Dad won in the end, and the five kids put on our life jackets. I think my mom did, too. I am sure my dad didn’t… Continue reading Pontoon Boat Disaster
Don’t Stand Up!
(re-run) It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Old Mom on Vacation
(re-run) When I had my kids at the late ages of 31, 34 and six weeks before turning 39, I didn’t think about the consequences 29 years later, when my baby would be graduating from grad school, with siblings 33 and 36. Here we are, and it is damn near impossible to keep up with… Continue reading Old Mom on Vacation
Best Laid Plans
(re-run) It was a Sunday. I was supposed to be going to a birthday party in Antioch, forty minutes away. But the day had become a comedy of errors. I had sweet-talked my son into installing my new printer and had lured him over with the promise of pizza for lunch. It took him longer… Continue reading Best Laid Plans
Having his Cake
(re-run) Fran and I sat at the bar at Il Vecchio’s next to the guy with the shaved head. Fran chatted him up while we waited for a table. We decided to have dinner at the bar. Adam was cute enough but not too tall. He seemed interested in petite Fran, so at the end… Continue reading Having his Cake
