She met him on Plenty of Fish. Their first conversation was normal. Frank was articulate and spoke in complete sentences. They spent two hours on the phone. Frank asked if they could meet the next morning since it was a Saturday. Nancy already had plans, plus she wasn’t a morning person, so she postponed their… Continue reading Worst FaceTime Ever
Category: pick-up lines
Memphis Sugar Mama
After Robert’s family came to America, Robert went to college in Memphis. He met an older woman, Devon, in a liquor store. She had on a mink jacket and asked him out right there amongst the bottles of high-end scotches. She looked good for her age. She drove a Cadillac since her daddy had the… Continue reading Memphis Sugar Mama
Having his Cake
We sat at the bar at Il Vecchio’s next to the guy with the shaved head. My girlfriend chatted him up while we waited for a table. We decided to have dinner at the bar. Adam was cute enough but not too tall. He seemed interested in my petite girlfriend, so at the end of… Continue reading Having his Cake
You’re So Hot
He was cute enough. I’d seen him at several meet-up dancing events. Thor seemed interested. He texted me for several minutes one day, but I grew tired of his games. After telling in him I was probably older than he was, I asked him by text. “How old are you?” “Guess,” he said. “55?” “No.”… Continue reading You’re So Hot
The Princeton Ploy
It was her third day as a freshman at Temple University in Philadelphia. Sue was riding the elevator with her friends between Hardwick and Johnson Hall when he got on. He had all of his stuff. He was moving in. “School started already,” one of her friends said. “I was in San Diego,” he said.… Continue reading The Princeton Ploy
This Little Piggy
After college, I lived in a town with 2000 people and a bunch of pigs — real ones, the kind that grunt and poop and lift the gate latch with their noses. I saw something run past the window of my rented farmhouse. At first I thought it was a deer until I put on… Continue reading This Little Piggy
Prince Not So Charming
He was dressed as Prince Charming. I was dressed as a 1930’s nurse from Samuel Merritt Nursing School in Oakland, admittedly a weird Halloween costume, but the woman at the estate sale had practically given it to me after I bought $200 worth of antiques for my vintage shop. My friend, Nancy, her niece, and… Continue reading Prince Not So Charming
It’s Not Rocket Science
The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool in Hayward that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good… Continue reading It’s Not Rocket Science
Bricks, Ricks, and Cardboard
The college mixer was hosted by the men in Lorch House in Friley Hall, in the heart of the Iowa State campus. My house, Tappan, the top two floors of Barton Hall, a girls’ dorm, was invited. Yes, I am old. Yes, dorm floors are co-ed now. This was in the days of the dinosaurs.… Continue reading Bricks, Ricks, and Cardboard
The Princeton Ploy
It was her third day as a freshman at Temple University in Philadelphia. Sue was riding the elevator with her friends between Hardwick and Johnson Hall when he got on. He had all of his stuff. He was moving in. “School started already,” one of her friends said. “I was in San Diego,” he said.… Continue reading The Princeton Ploy
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 