The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good pick-up line?… Continue reading The Woes of Being a Shopkeeper
Category: humor
A Tongue Twister
Donna met a guy named George through a group of friends. She was about to have open heart surgery, so she didn’t feel much like flirting. George was average looking but persistent. He kept texting her before and after the surgery. She thought he was into her, but then he insisted that she call him.… Continue reading A Tongue Twister
Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
The joke going around social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they will be… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
Daisy the Rescue Dog, Month # 12
We’ve been through a lot together: chewed up leashes, broken chairs, too-small-harnesses, failing out of manners class, and me building a gate that you cannot jump. Daisy, you have cost me lots of money. You have been put in your place and punctured when you would not acquiesce to the bigger dog over a ball… Continue reading Daisy the Rescue Dog, Month # 12
Worst Boss Ever
Aside from the old-guy boss I had for ten days at the Iowa State Fair, who took one look at my giraffe legs in my short culottes jumper I’d made in sewing class and demanded that I bend over to see if my butt would show (it didn’t), George was the worst boss ever. George… Continue reading Worst Boss Ever
Woodstock or Work?
In 1969 Max Yasgur’s pig farm in upstate New York sounded like the place to be for three days and three nights. Frank had been delivering the Woodstock tickets for weeks on Long Island at his job as a summer letter carrier for the U.S. Post Office. He and the other summer carriers knew it… Continue reading Woodstock or Work?
Tattoos for You
I look around and see athletes with tattoos, ex-military people with tattoos, mothers of small children with tattoos . . .
The Six Stages of Thanksgiving
I am having Thanksgiving at my house today for nine or ten people. I say that because my brother in law may or may not show up. There is lots of football to be missed if he comes ninety minutes north to my house. It will be me, my three kids, my two sisters, my… Continue reading The Six Stages of Thanksgiving
Memories Light the Corners of my Mind
I used to be good at remembering people’s names and remembering to use coupons before they expired. Now I am lucky if I can find the coupon when I am at the store. Today, at CVS, I checked out and was given a long receipt with $6.00 of extra bucks on it. My new rule… Continue reading Memories Light the Corners of my Mind
The Politics of Dating
(Dialogue on a first date between senior man and senior woman) “You look nice.” “Sorry I am late.” “Let me tell you about my third wife.” “I have two dogs.” “I used to work on defense missiles.” “You must like to play video games.” “I like you.” “I am not a Republican, but I bet… Continue reading The Politics of Dating
