(re-run) It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Category: humor
The Bathroom Post
Nobody talks about it except those red bears on the toilet paper commercial. Everybody poops. Or they at least try to. Older folks often have trouble in this department because the body is less efficient, and everything slows down, especially the digestive system. My days of eating nachos for lunch are over, my friends. French… Continue reading The Bathroom Post
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — lighten up your hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to you.… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
(re-run) Holly moved from San Francisco to the East Bay and missed her old classmates. The smart kids and the popular kids had already established their cliques. She was an outsider. Holly had no close friends to share her excitement and concerns at Bishop O’Dowd High School, even though she was kind of cute, smart,… Continue reading His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
(re-run) After moving to Omaha and teaching for a couple of years across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs, Iowa, I grew tired of driving a car that smelled like a mildewed basement. My poor Chevy Monza had suffered through a Nebraska flood back at the farmhouse, and the car stank. I couldn’t afford a… Continue reading Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
The White Album
(re-run) The last time I saw the Beatles cover band in the Santa Cruz mountains hippie town of Felton, I noticed that most of the crowd was coupled off, and most of the couples didn’t dance. They were too old, having been die-hard Beatles fans for fifty years. It was a shame. The floor is… Continue reading The White Album
Piglet in a Box
(re-run) Carin was working, cutting her stepsister’s hair at the salon her mom owned. Her cell phone vibrated. She never took calls during work. All of her friends and family knew that. It vibrated again, a second call from the same number. She picked up. It was her ex boyfriend, Rob. Rob was two ex-boyfriends… Continue reading Piglet in a Box
It’s a Jungle Out There
(re-run) I saw a coyote yesterday during my strength and training class at the senior center. There are so many people in the drop-in class that I have to stand right in front of the glass doors, with a view of the hills filled with wild turkeys, birds, and now Wiley Coyote. My back hurts… Continue reading It’s a Jungle Out There
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
(re-run) Ingrid had been on the online website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
Mr. No Class
(re-run) They met online through a singles website (not the swiping one). Tom lived and worked in Napa. Carin lived less than an hour away in the San Francisco East Bay on a horse ranchette with her seven horses. She ran a small upscale hair salon. After much texting and talking, they got together for… Continue reading Mr. No Class
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 