The world is insane. A snowstorm is predicted for the East Coast. It’s Mother’s Day weekend. The local news station reported that scientists may take llama antibodies for Covid-19 and give them to humans to see if it would help with immunity. Does that mean the humans might start spitting when they are angry? The… Continue reading The Darwin Awards
Category: California
Date with a Cad
(re-run) Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as… Continue reading Date with a Cad
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
Letting Go
(re-run) My cars sit out in the summer. There’s no way they can go into the garage. Fires are burning north of here and have been for weeks. The Bay Area air is smoky. I look at the blue plastic tubs of flammable clothing and think, “It would take days for all of this to… Continue reading Letting Go
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
(re-run) I had lunch with my son yesterday. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,”… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
(re-run) Yesterday at the natural stone store where I went to look at their granite, the guy that helped me mentioned that his friend’s German Shepherd puppy kept biting his owner. Puppies do that because they are exploring their world. They are babies using everything as their personal teething rings. When my lab mix Pepper… Continue reading How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
The Problem with the Midwest
I am from Iowa (now a Californian), so I think I can write about this without being accused of cultural appropriation. People in the Midwest are insulated from a lot of what is happening right now. It’s true that two meat-packing plants have had to close down due to the Covid-19 virus, but most people… Continue reading The Problem with the Midwest
Help your Mood, Pull some Weeds
Yesterday I made the short trip to my little downtown, got some cash from the ATM, picked up two newspapers, and headed back home. On the way into town, I saw two city workers spraying Roundup on the weeds in the median strip. They were still at it, in the very same place, on my… Continue reading Help your Mood, Pull some Weeds
The White Album
(re-run) The last time I saw the Beatles cover band in the Santa Cruz mountains hippie town of Felton, I noticed that most of the crowd was coupled off, and most of the couples didn’t dance. They were too old, having been die-hard Beatles fans for fifty years. It was a shame. The floor is… Continue reading The White Album
