A Date with Jesus


Gina was from a big Italian family, So was Vito, her same age. The families were good friends, and when they were both fifteen, Gina was in love with Vito. But they never dated, and once Gina left for Berkeley to go to school at Cal, she didn’t see Vito for several years.

When Gina was 28, Vito’s dad (also named Vito) found Gina’s contact information and called her up. He suggested that she call Little Vito to reconnect.

Gina was charmed that Big Vito cared so much.  She called Little Vito (although now he was 6 foot, two inches tall). He agreed to drive down to Berkeley from the Sierra foothills so that they could have their first date.

Gina wanted to see the movie, Godfather Three, and Little Vito agreed. Two thirds of the way through the movie, Vito became agitated and turned to the couple behind them.

“Get your feet out of my face!” Vito yelled.

Gina turned to look but didn’t see any feet near Vito’s face.  Vito continued to yell at the couple behind them. Gina told him to go wait in the lobby until she was done watching the movie.

Vito went out to the lobby. After the movie ended, Gina asked him what the heck he had been yelling about.  While he ranted about how the couple behind them had bothered him, it dawned on Gina that Vito had a mental health problem.

Unfortunately he was spending the night in her apartment, since it was too far to drive back to Auburn.  While she was getting his bed on the couch ready, Vito put his hand on her arm and said, “You have to realize that I am Jesus Christ.”

“Tell me about that,” Gina said, afraid to contradict him.

Several hours later, Gina fell into bed, hoping that Vito would fall asleep and let her get some rest.

The next morning, Gina whipped up breakfast, fed Vito, and then wished him a safe journey home. As soon as he left, she called Big Vito and demanded to know what he had been thinking, suggesting she date her son.

“Little Vito has mental problems!” she said. “Why did you get me involved?”

“He has always loved you, Gina,” Big Vito said. “I thought it would help him to see you.”

“You thought my love for him could cure his mental problems?” she said. “Seriously?”

Couldda Wouldda Shouldda

Gina should have wondered why Little Vito’s dad was setting up the date and not Little Vito.

I hope that Little Vito got some help with a good psychiatrist. Mental health is just like any other ailment. It needs to be treated for the patient to get better.

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