FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER!

Last week I tried to go to Costco. I got there at 8:50 a.m. and the line to the front door was a block long. Because of Coronavirus. I turned around and left.

Today, the second day of our shelter-in-place order, I ventured to Costco at 4:00 p.m. after a stealth visit with my sister (we can buy groceries).  A guy was pulling out of the first spot in the second row from the front door. I waited patiently as a mom arranged her two kids in a shopping cart, blocking the man’s ability to back out his car.

No one was behind me honking as I waited to pull into the row and into the first spot. The woman finally realized she was preventing the guy from leaving and moved her cart and kids.  He backed out, and I pulled in and thought, I’m already ahead of the last time.

Once inside, I saw a Costco guy was handing out wipes to wipe down the cart. I already had on my winter gloves for protection, so I passed him by.

I got all the things on my list – dog treats, avocados, lettuce, chicken, protein drinks, and Izzies for my worker woman who loves the sour apple flavor.  I found the Flonase and snagged three bunches of flowers.

I rolled through the bakery, pondered the carrot cake and decided I’d rather have chocolate.

The T.P. was all gone, but no matter. Who needs it? What I really wanted was to get some chocolate candy. My supply at home was getting low, down to the flavors I don’t really like that much – Milky Way and Reese’s PB cups.  I scored a big chorus-sized bag and rolled right into the check-out line, no waiting.

I even remembered to use my annual certificate for being a wholesale member. It was worth $140.00.

As I left the building and rolled to my convenient parking spot and loaded my car, a Costco employee came up and offered to take my cart.

“Wow!” I said. “No crowds. This is awesome.”

“Oh, that was yesterday,” the employee said. “We had to shut the store three times.”

“I’m glad I missed that,” I said as he rolled my cart away.

Now think about it, if you were stranded on a desert island, which would you rather have? A bag of chocolates or a bunch of toilet paper?

You can’t eat toilet paper.  And those palm leaves would come in pretty handy in a pinch.