(re-run) I had a meeting tonight with two girlfriends in solid hard-core relationships. One is married, the other is living with her guy. My relationship is with two roommates who fight a lot over squeaky toys and over who gets to go out the door first. They are roommates of the furry kind. So imagine… Continue reading The Grass is Always Greener
Category: humor
DUI Date
(re-run) Lesley was a college freshman at UOP in Stockton when a big football player type guy asked her on a date. Lesley had already met his roommate, so she thought she was safe with Chad and said yes. Chad took Lesley to a party, but when his roommate came up to say hi to… Continue reading DUI Date
Pennies from Heaven
(re-run) When I was sixteen, I saved up my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, black light posters and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead (I didn’t smoke cigarettes either), I enjoyed the ambience of… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven
Worst Professor Ever
She taught the research class at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I needed the course to earn my master’s degree. It would be easy. I’d written dozens of research papers at Iowa State. She said we could choose any topic. All we had to do was take a position, defend it with an intro,… Continue reading Worst Professor Ever
Don’t Judge a Book
(re-run) Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch-heel black booties because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book
The Bathroom Post
Nobody talks about it except those red bears on the toilet paper commercial. Everybody poops. Or they at least try to. Older folks often have trouble in this department because the body is less efficient, and everything slows down, especially the digestive system. My days of eating nachos for lunch are over, my friends. French… Continue reading The Bathroom Post
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — lighten up your hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to you.… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
(re-run) Holly moved from San Francisco to the East Bay and missed her old classmates. The smart kids and the popular kids had already established their cliques. She was an outsider. Holly had no close friends to share her excitement and concerns at Bishop O’Dowd High School, even though she was kind of cute, smart,… Continue reading His Baby, She Wrote Him a Letter
Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
(re-run) After moving to Omaha and teaching for a couple of years across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs, Iowa, I grew tired of driving a car that smelled like a mildewed basement. My poor Chevy Monza had suffered through a Nebraska flood back at the farmhouse, and the car stank. I couldn’t afford a… Continue reading Waitresses Make the Best Tippers
The White Album
(re-run) The last time I saw the Beatles cover band in the Santa Cruz mountains hippie town of Felton, I noticed that most of the crowd was coupled off, and most of the couples didn’t dance. They were too old, having been die-hard Beatles fans for fifty years. It was a shame. The floor is… Continue reading The White Album
