When I was sixteen, I saved up my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead, I enjoyed the ambience of the place and the way my hair smelled when… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven
Month: January 2018
The Cat Lady
She seemed normal enough. James met her on the softball diamond — he was playing, shortstop, she was second base. It was a singles club event for Labor Day. He wasn’t an actual member but showed up on the holidays. Beth was sort of cute, her body pretty good for fifty plus. He was also… Continue reading The Cat Lady
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
I had lunch with my son yesterday. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,” he… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
Don’t Stand Up!
It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that I’ve… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Do the Hustle
Guido met Marsha at a famous bar called Rex and Eric’s in Waikiki. He lived locally. She was on vacation. He’d put on his five gold chains, unbuttoned his billowy polyester shirt with the big collar to reveal just enough chest hair, stepped into a pair of black high-waisted pants that hugged his tight butt,… Continue reading Do the Hustle
Hogwash!
When working on a manuscript for a woman born two centuries ago, I needed an old-timey synonym for hogwash. I Googled it and found a website called Power Thesaurus with 517 choices. I really didn’t want that many. As I perused the first page, my choices were rubbish, balderdash, bunk, and drivel, along with baloney,… Continue reading Hogwash!
It’s Not Rocket Science
The woman who works for me, eleven years my junior and twice as strong, told me that when her hot tub broke, she told a man at her community pool in Hayward that she needed a rocket scientist to figure out what was wrong with it. “I’m a rocket scientist,” the guy said. A good… Continue reading It’s Not Rocket Science
Hey Jude
What is the song you sing when you are in a bind and need to calm yourself down, without the benefit of drugs? For me, it’s a Beatles song — my mantra, Hey Jude. Paul was my favorite Beatle growing up, and he does a great job repeating the lyrics, to the point that if… Continue reading Hey Jude
Late-night Loser
We decided to meet at Bing Crosby’s restaurant in Walnut Creek. I took a seat at the bar, and asked for water. After all, I’d had two glasses of wine already, waiting for him to get off work at the TV station and drive all the way to Walnut Creek. I listened to the jazz… Continue reading Late-night Loser
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 