It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that I’ve… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Category: worst
How to Get a DUI
Over the years, I’ve known many people who have gotten DUI’s. Not one of them thought they were drunk enough to get one, which is scary, because that’s what I think every time I drive home from a night of drinking and dancing. Granted, I usually stop at two glasses of wine. And I drink… Continue reading How to Get a DUI
Drive-in Movie Disaster
Linda was going into high school in the fall. She was doing summer stock at the Flamingo Hotel in Santa Rosa. The play was Bye Bye Birdie, and she was playing the part of a show girl. Jeff, one of the good-looking stage hands, drove a blue ’66 Cadillac convertible with a white top. Thinking… Continue reading Drive-in Movie Disaster
The Navy Guy and the Babe Mobile
Bruce was a lieutenant in the navy, and he lived with four bachelor roommates. They’d been out to sea for six months and were back for six months. A guy could save up a lot of money in six months, so Bruce was able to buy a silver Jaguar XKE convertible. He nicknamed it his… Continue reading The Navy Guy and the Babe Mobile
Water-ski Wonder Boy
She was a freshman at Arizona State. She was a Kappa Alpha Theta. He was an older frat boy from Kappa Phi. He asked her to go water skiing with him. “I don’t know how,” Linda said. “No worries,” said Phil. “I’ll teach you.” Phil picked her up and took her to where he kept… Continue reading Water-ski Wonder Boy
Four Blobs of Beige
The lunch plate has a light beige blob, a medium beige blob, and a dark beige blob. One blob turns out to be pureed bagel. It is Sister’s rehab in a Jewish community home. The signs are in both English and Hebrew. The synagogue has gorgeous stained glass windows. The doors are all automatic. The… Continue reading Four Blobs of Beige
They Told Her to Go to Rehab
It’s my sister’s second day of rehab after a one-week hospital stay, and I need to vent about the woman in the next bed. Actually, about her family. She has had a medical event that has changed her life. She is moving to a new place closer to one of her daughters. I found this… Continue reading They Told Her to Go to Rehab
Prom Be Gone
It was supposed to be junior prom at Stoughton High, but it got cancelled (thirteen years before the movie Footloose). Pat wasn’t going steady with anyone, so she wasn’t too upset. At the last minute the school arranged a dance in the high school gym, but with no decorations, no court (no prom queen), and… Continue reading Prom Be Gone
DUI Date
Lesley was a college freshman at UOP in Stockton when a big football player type guy asked her on a date. Lesley had already met his roommate, so she thought she was safe with Chad and said yes. Chad took Lesley to a party, but when his roommate came up to say hi to Lesley,… Continue reading DUI Date
False Alarm
Donnie, a firefighter, had a date with a woman from Match.com. The date was just okay, but he knew there were only two kinds of women, those he would sleep with and those he wouldn’t. Lisa was in the first category. According to Donnie, men never had a wait-and-see attitude about a woman. Women could… Continue reading False Alarm
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 