(re-run) Nobody talks about it except those red bears on the toilet paper commercial. Everybody poops. Or they at least try to. Older folks often have trouble in this department because the body is less efficient, and everything slows down, especially the digestive system. My days of eating nachos for lunch are over, my friends.… Continue reading The Bathroom Post
Category: memoir
Pennies from Heaven
(re-run) When I was sixteen, I saved my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, black light posters and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead (I didn’t smoke cigarettes either), I enjoyed the ambience of the… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven
The Longest Day of my Life
(re-run) Today is the anniversary of the longest day of my life. Fourteen years ago, the movers showed up at 7:00 a.m. I had expected them at 8:00. They had a medium-sized truck. There was no way everything would fit. I had the Suburban and the Subaru, but they were already packed to the gills.… Continue reading The Longest Day of my Life
Teacup Season
I was in line at my favorite beach-town thrift store when the woman behind me said, “Young people don’t want those antique dishes anymore.” “Uh, that’s not true,” I said. “I sell them to young brides all the time.” “My friend has an antique store,” she said, “and young people never come in.” “That’s because… Continue reading Teacup Season
Getting a New Perspective While Getting There
(re-run) I am retired, two years away from the big 7-0, flying for the second time in two months, a record for me. Traveler’s Tip: Don’t fly in the summer if you can help it. EVERYONE is flying, and the weather across the U.S. can be bad and will delay your flight. My daughter drove… Continue reading Getting a New Perspective While Getting There
Memorial Day Weekend – Hello to Summer
(re-run from 2020) My next-door neighbor just told me that he had the Coronavirus in December, that he was down for 10 days, lost weight, lost his sense of smell and taste, and felt like he had a big rubber band around his chest. He had to sleep in a chair because it hurt to… Continue reading Memorial Day Weekend – Hello to Summer
Antiques Dealer School
(re-run) When my youngest was three, I ventured out in to the real world and rented a space in a handmade and vintage store. I did pretty well, but there were problems including accounting and theft. In my affluent town, shoppers unpinned the price tags and switched them around. I quit the craft store and… Continue reading Antiques Dealer School
Skin Check
(re-run) “Good job!” the physician’s assistant said when I complained about my uneven fake tan. “It’s been a lifestyle change for me, staying out of the sun,” I said. “I’m proud of you,” Miss Tan said. She looked at the four spots I was worried about, froze off the two on my back, biopsied one… Continue reading Skin Check
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — to lighten up her hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
Bad Luck Comes in Threes
(re-run) The first bad luck, or maybe good luck depending on how you look at it, was me finding out that the colorless bump above my eyelid turned out to be nodular basal cell carcinoma. The Mohs surgery went well, and I’ll be able to change the bandage and take a shower by the time… Continue reading Bad Luck Comes in Threes
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 