My friend Kelly hasn’t smoked a cigarette in 172 days. After thirty-seven years of the puffing habit, she is proud of herself. Chantix helped. Wanting to quit helped more. Wanting better health and to be a good role model for her kids helped the most. Kelly craves a cigarette after finishing a meal. It’s a… Continue reading No More Cigarettes
Category: last
Do Nerds Laugh?
(re-run) Yesterday, at my bi-monthly massage at the chiropractor’s, Curtis the masseur asked me lots of questions to help the 55 minute session go by. I was chatting away as he rubbed the kinks out of my neck, shoulder and lower back, telling him this and that, until he came around to the big question,… Continue reading Do Nerds Laugh?
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
(re-run) I had lunch with my son today. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,”… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
More Machu Picchu
(part two) Christy and I finished our breakfast at the hotel up at the top and looked into the fog. The buses wouldn’t start arriving until noon. “Let’s hike up the big mountain,” she said. “Okay,” I said. My lost and found tennis shoes were too small, but I had cut out the toes so… Continue reading More Machu Picchu
Jerky Jokester
Elena lived in the city. She went to the Cingular to get a phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you want it so… Continue reading Jerky Jokester
It Never Goes Away
Every year I get a notification from Facebook that it’s a certain friend’s birthday. The trouble is that the friend has been dead and gone for over four years. I read a poem at his memorial service. He was a ski club guy, not a guy I knew real well. Is there no one to… Continue reading It Never Goes Away
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
They met online on Okay Cupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
Mr. Classless
They met online through a singles website (not the swiping one). Tom lived and worked in Napa. Carin lived less than an hour away in the San Francisco East Bay area on her horse ranchette with her seven horses. She ran a small upscale hair salon. After much texting and talking, they got together for… Continue reading Mr. Classless
Worst Boss Ever
Aside from the old-guy boss I had for ten days at the Iowa State Fair, who took one look at my giraffe legs in my short culottes jumper I’d made in sewing class and demanded that I bend over to see if my butt would show (it didn’t), George was the worst boss ever. George… Continue reading Worst Boss Ever
Getting a DUI
Over the years, I’ve known many people who have gotten DUI’s. Not one of them thought they were drunk enough to get one, which is scary, because that’s what I think every time I drive home from a night out. Granted, I usually stop at two glasses of wine. I drink them early in the… Continue reading Getting a DUI
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 