(re-run) ****Dialogue on a first date between senior man and senior woman**** “You look nice.” “Sorry I am late.” “Let me tell you about my third wife.” “I have two dogs.” “I used to work on defense missiles.” “You must like to play video games.” “I like you.” “I am not a Republican, but I’ll… Continue reading The Politics of Dating
Category: humor
OCD and Me
I often dream about finding a public bathroom to use right before I wake up. It’s because I have to pee. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in a crowded restaurant and when I went into the bathroom, there were tables in there with groups of women seated around them. I stood at the… Continue reading OCD and Me
Don’t Judge a Book
Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch black boots because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for dancing,”… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book
The Benefits of a Hard Childhood
My childhood friend from Iowa called the other day. As we were comparing notes about our dysfunctional childhood households (hers with physical abuse, mine verbal), she mentioned the immigrant caravan at the border. “What are going to do about that?” she said. “Let in the women and children,” I said. “I’m not sure about the… Continue reading The Benefits of a Hard Childhood
Be Careful What You Wish For
(re-run) I’ve lived in my little house for seven years and four months. The neighborhood is about 48 years old, and the trees that are here are huge. My pie-shaped lot is wide and shallow in the back. Las Trampas Ridge is due west, beyond the freeway, but I could not see it because of… Continue reading Be Careful What You Wish For
A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
PK lived in Jersey when her friend’s mum was terminally ill in Boston. When her friend called to say her mother had died, PK woke up feeling bad but thought it was the heat. She wanted to go to the funeral and surprise her friend. She loaded up her three-year-old daughter and took off for… Continue reading A Funeral, an Appendix, and a Dead Concert
The Baby Switch and the Missed Burger
When our daughter came out, covered in dark hair just like her dad, the nurse slapped an i.d. tag on her tiny little foot. For some reason I reached over to read it.
The Bonus Daisy Post
(re-run from 2018) Normally I write about my rescue dog on a monthly basis, on her adoption anniversary date, the 26th of October. Consider this a bonus post, since she has been making news these past two days. Every morning I get into the hot tub with my cup of black tea, and Daisy perches… Continue reading The Bonus Daisy Post
Worst/Best Dog Trainer Ever
When the family Dachshund was two, he started pooping in the upstairs hallway. This was not okay with me. I found a dog trainer named Sheila who came to the house and worked with the entire family. That first session was an eye opener. Sheila hooked Wiener’s collar to a leash, and when Wiener snapped… Continue reading Worst/Best Dog Trainer Ever
Two Stalkers
I have two stalkers. One of my stalkers is a homeless guy who disappeared eight years ago and has now reappeared. He calls. He shows up. He asks for work. He asks for money. I told him my situation has changed from eight years ago. My sister is now in my care. She just reached… Continue reading Two Stalkers
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 