David Rivers was a sophomore at Pinole High School when he invited his fellow classmate, Violet, to his school dance. She said yes, and he told her he’d pick her up at 7:00. When David got to Violet’s house, she wasn’t ready. Violet’s father led David to the question couch, where he grilled him for… Continue reading The Date That Never Happened
Category: humor
A Good Dog Neighbor
(re-run) Yesterday my son and I had lunch together at the local sandwich shop. He brought his little dog, half Chihuahua, half terrier. I fed Violet scraps of lettuce under the table while we ate. She thinks she’s a vegetarian. Afterward, we followed the usual routine and came back to my house, where Violet could… Continue reading A Good Dog Neighbor
Three Strikes, You’re Out
He didn’t seem her type — he was a few pounds overweight, but not bad looking and wearing a nice suit in his online photo. He was an architect. He pursued her with photo-likes over a few weeks and text messages, too. Kate agreed to a phone chat. At least he seems intelligent. He was… Continue reading Three Strikes, You’re Out
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
(re-run) Ingrid had been on the online website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
Worst Neighbors Ever
When I was twenty-eight I bought my first house, in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was in my price… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever
Hold the Crunch
(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Leroy, the Farmer Boy
It was a Saturday night and the dorm floor was deserted. Everyone was off doing something fun. Ellie sat at her desk trying to study Biology 101, but she wasn’t feeling it. A dorm mate burst in and asked her if she wanted to go on a double date right then and there, to a… Continue reading Leroy, the Farmer Boy
Asparagus, Anyone?
The farmhouse was next to the highway, close enough for me to hear the train come by every night, and far enough away from the tracks to get used to sleeping through it. No houses could be seen from any window — just trees, sky, and lots of cornfields. It was a peaceful place, sometimes… Continue reading Asparagus, Anyone?
There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy
I could’ve called it My Bitchy Saturday but opted instead for the other title. It started off with the grocery store clerk putting my bag of apples at the bottom of the bag, then placing two dozen eggs, a pound of turkey, and a container of cake on top of them. Yes, I bought a… Continue reading There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy
Prince Not So Charming
(re-run) He was dressed as Prince Charming. I was dressed as a 1930’s nurse from Samuel Merritt Nursing School in Oakland, admittedly a weird Halloween costume, but the woman at the estate sale had practically given it to me after I bought $200 worth of antiques for my vintage shop. My friend, Nancy, her niece,… Continue reading Prince Not So Charming
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 