When I was twenty-eight I bought my first house, in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was in my price… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever
Category: humor
Hold the Crunch
(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Leroy, the Farmer Boy
It was a Saturday night and the dorm floor was deserted. Everyone was off doing something fun. Ellie sat at her desk trying to study Biology 101, but she wasn’t feeling it. A dorm mate burst in and asked her if she wanted to go on a double date right then and there, to a… Continue reading Leroy, the Farmer Boy
Asparagus, Anyone?
The farmhouse was next to the highway, close enough for me to hear the train come by every night, and far enough away from the tracks to get used to sleeping through it. No houses could be seen from any window — just trees, sky, and lots of cornfields. It was a peaceful place, sometimes… Continue reading Asparagus, Anyone?
There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy
I could’ve called it My Bitchy Saturday but opted instead for the other title. It started off with the grocery store clerk putting my bag of apples at the bottom of the bag, then placing two dozen eggs, a pound of turkey, and a container of cake on top of them. Yes, I bought a… Continue reading There’s Bitchy and There’s Old-lady Bitchy
Prince Not So Charming
(re-run) He was dressed as Prince Charming. I was dressed as a 1930’s nurse from Samuel Merritt Nursing School in Oakland, admittedly a weird Halloween costume, but the woman at the estate sale had practically given it to me after I bought $200 worth of antiques for my vintage shop. My friend, Nancy, her niece,… Continue reading Prince Not So Charming
Judging from the Trends
(re-run) I was asked to judge a picture book contest. I am a picture book author of 29 books and also a mom of past picture-book fans. Picture books are books with both words and art, usually 28 to 64 pages, and usually for young children. The gift book people have figured out how to… Continue reading Judging from the Trends
Don’t Stand Up!
(re-run) It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Don’t Stand Up!
It was a long train ride from Lima to Cuzco, or maybe it was from Cuzco to Machu Picchu. At any rate, I was on a train with a bunch of Peruvians and my roommate, Kristy. Trains give me motion sickness, as do boats, cars, planes, swings, and carnival rides. It’s a miracle that I’ve… Continue reading Don’t Stand Up!
Daisy’s Debut with Diamonds
Two things you need to know: 1. Daisy is a rescue dog. 2. The diamonds are really rhinestones on her new collar. Yes, I have become one of those dog owners, making my little dog cute for the world to see. Who doesn’t need a little bling in her life? Even if you happen to… Continue reading Daisy’s Debut with Diamonds
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 