(re-run) The women in my family are spatially challenged, as in which way is south? West ? North? East? I remembered that the northwest corner of the basement was supposed to be the safest place in case of a tornado, but I had no idea which corner that would be. Now that I live near… Continue reading The Missing GPS Gene
Category: humor
How to Relax for Bed
(re-run) I decided to close my online costume shop this past summer. I donated 500 dresses to a charity for 3rd world girls and sorted through my aprons, pulling out all the hostess ones, the sheer ones not for cooking. I had 150 of them. I gave them to my local thrift store, the one… Continue reading How to Relax for Bed
How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
(re-run) Yesterday at the natural stone store where I went to look at their granite, the guy that helped me mentioned that his friend’s German Shepherd puppy kept biting his owner. Puppies do that because they are exploring their world. They are babies using everything as their personal teething rings. When my lab mix Pepper… Continue reading How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
Worst Neighbors Ever
(re-run) When I was twenty-eight I bought my first house, in Omaha, on 50th Avenue, south of Leavenworth. It was a cute little two bedroom, one bath with a full basement and big fenced-in backyard. Since I wanted to get a dog, it seemed perfect. I had a budget, and this house was in my… Continue reading Worst Neighbors Ever
No Christmas Tree for Me
(re-run) Eight Christmases in this house and only two trees. Both were living, and they got planted in my yard. Guess what? My yard is full. That’s what happens when you get rid of your grass, fire your gardener, and watch volunteer trees grow on their own, self-planting trees with a little help from the… Continue reading No Christmas Tree for Me
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
(re-run) Ingrid had been on the online website for a little over a month. She had tried meeting a few guys but only if they were willing to email back and forth and actually pick up a phone and call. Fred had flirted and called, and now it was time for them to meet. He… Continue reading He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Match Date
Four Bands and Birthdays in Four Nights
(re-run) This is now a distant memory during the Covid 19 crisis. I know summer is here when I’ve seen four live bands in four nights. The first band played in Moraga on Thursday, a bit of a drive with traffic at 5:00 p.m. Three Day Weekend had good harmony, interesting song choices and some… Continue reading Four Bands and Birthdays in Four Nights
The Dog Crate Disaster
(re-run) When my pup was just over a year old, the Ghost Ship Fire happened in Oakland. 36 people died in a warehouse that had been converted into artist co-op with an illegal dance club on the second floor. When the fire started, the young people dancing upstairs were trapped, and they died. Tragedy. Every… Continue reading The Dog Crate Disaster
Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
(re-run) The joke going around social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they will… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
Designer Dogs
(re-run) As I watched the end of the Oscars with a little dog cozied up in the chair with me and my sister asking when she could go to bed, I thought back on the man I met two nights before, the one who wanted to get a Doodle Dane, a cross breed between a… Continue reading Designer Dogs
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 