Romance Coast to Coast

(re-run) Nicky went back to Connecticut to see his mother.“You’ve got to meet this cute Italian girl working in my office,” a friend said.“I’m only here for a week,” Nicky said.“My wife is in night class with a cute Italian girl,” another friend said. “You two should meet.”“I’m only here for a week,” Nicky said,… Continue reading Romance Coast to Coast

Hold the Crunch

(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in the new peanut butter, Jif. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in 100 degree… Continue reading Hold the Crunch

The Grass is Always Greener

(re-run) I had a meeting tonight with two girlfriends in solid hard-core relationships. One is married, the other is living with her guy. My relationship is with two roommates who fight a lot over squeaky toys and over who gets to go out the door first. They are roommates of the furry kind. So imagine… Continue reading The Grass is Always Greener

DUI Date

(re-run) Lesley was a college freshman at UOP in Stockton when a big football player type guy asked her on a date. Lesley had already met his roommate, so she thought she was safe with Chad and said yes. Chad took Lesley to a party, but when his roommate came up to say hi to… Continue reading DUI Date

Pavlov’s Perfume

(re-run) My girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, lest someone recognize her on this page, has a three-time rescue dog like mine. Hers also started out as a voluntary surrender puppy after his owner first lost a home in the Redding fire. Or possibly he was at the Redding shelter and got shipped out to make… Continue reading Pavlov’s Perfume

Almost Toast

(re-run) Marlene and her friend Beth came out to California from New Hampshire after college to work for Bank of America. They each made a new friend, and each new friend brought another friend to the party (plus one more) until they were a group of seven recent college graduates, living in the city of… Continue reading Almost Toast

Pennies from Heaven

(re-run) When I was sixteen, I saved up my babysitting money and went downtown to Cottage Grove Avenue in Des Moines, where there was a head shop filled with incense, hanging beads, roach clips, black light posters and tie dye. Although I wasn’t a pothead (I didn’t smoke cigarettes either), I enjoyed the ambience of… Continue reading Pennies from Heaven

Worst Professor Ever

She taught the research class at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I needed the course to earn my master’s degree. It would be easy. I’d written dozens of research papers at Iowa State. She said we could choose any topic. All we had to do was take a position, defend it with an intro,… Continue reading Worst Professor Ever

Don’t Judge a Book

(re-run) Of all the pick-up lines I’ve ever heard, the best one came yesterday at the Walnut Creek Octoberfest. “Now those are some sensible shoes.” Yes, I had on one-inch-heel black booties because I was dressed as a German beer garden maid, and they were the best shoes with white knee socks. “They’re good for… Continue reading Don’t Judge a Book