(re-run) An Amazon robot punctured a can of Bear Mace, sending 80 employees to the hospital before Christmas. It reminded me of this true account told to me at a holiday party. In 2008 you take your wife, Liza, and your teen-aged kids to Alaska. You stay near the Princess Lodge in a fishing cabin… Continue reading Grizzly Bear!
Category: California
Belly-up Beetle
(re-run) Curtis drove the Volkswagen, 1969 vintage Beetle. Smoking George, his wing man, brought the weed. They’d met their dates at a party. Stacy and Camille went to San Leandro High. Curtis and George went to Castro Valley. Curtis liked Camille. George got Stacy. They all partied at a friend of a friend’s house in… Continue reading Belly-up Beetle
The Darwin Awards
The world is insane. A snowstorm is predicted for the East Coast. It’s Mother’s Day weekend. The local news station reported that scientists may take llama antibodies for Covid-19 and give them to humans to see if it would help with immunity. Does that mean the humans might start spitting when they are angry? The… Continue reading The Darwin Awards
Date with a Cad
(re-run) Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as… Continue reading Date with a Cad
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, and full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a… Continue reading At Face Value
Letting Go
(re-run) My cars sit out in the summer. There’s no way they can go into the garage. Fires are burning north of here and have been for weeks. The Bay Area air is smoky. I look at the blue plastic tubs of flammable clothing and think, “It would take days for all of this to… Continue reading Letting Go
Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
(re-run) I had lunch with my son yesterday. We were trying to figure out why I’d used up all my storage on my cell phone. He took a look, handed back my phone, and watched me put it in my pocket. “You need to hit the button on the side and turn off your screen,”… Continue reading Butt Dials and Other My-Bads
How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
(re-run) Yesterday at the natural stone store where I went to look at their granite, the guy that helped me mentioned that his friend’s German Shepherd puppy kept biting his owner. Puppies do that because they are exploring their world. They are babies using everything as their personal teething rings. When my lab mix Pepper… Continue reading How to Train your Puppy so He Won’t Bite You
The Problem with the Midwest
I am from Iowa (now a Californian), so I think I can write about this without being accused of cultural appropriation. People in the Midwest are insulated from a lot of what is happening right now. It’s true that two meat-packing plants have had to close down due to the Covid-19 virus, but most people… Continue reading The Problem with the Midwest
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 