(re-run) Jim’s job was to put the crunch in Jif, the new peanut butter to rival Skippy. One machine chopped the peanuts into slivers, and another machine used pistons to plug the slivers into the creamy product. Jim also had to taste-test peanut butter that had been sitting on a shelf for three months in… Continue reading Hold the Crunch
Category: best
Here Comes Trouble
I picked up some bathroom tile today, and Mark, the warehouse guy, told me that the floor tile for my bath reno was on back order. “It’s not that special,” I said. “It’s a bunch of colors spattered across the tile. I liked it because it’s forgiving and I have three dogs.” “I sure miss… Continue reading Here Comes Trouble
Chemistry is Everything
(re-run) Sharon was a Sigma Kappa at U of Cal, Berkeley, in her junior year. As she stood outside her sorority house, chatting with the house mom, a guy that she knew from Kappa Sigma crossed the street. “Hey Sharon, do you want to go to a pinning party with me tonight?” “Okay,” Sharon said,… Continue reading Chemistry is Everything
How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
When my new science teacher announced on the first day of 7th grade that no one would get an A in his class if they didn’t make an insect collection, I was like, “NOOOOOOOO! I hate bugs!” My mother hated bugs. Her mother hated bugs. They hated mice, snakes, and dog poop, too. I walked… Continue reading How my Bug Collection Changed a Generation
Oh No, Not the Warriors!
(re-run) Last week I took Sis to the hospital for a Barium Swallow test. We had just settled into the waiting room when an elderly woman with a cane came in the door. She had to go around Sis’s wheelchair to get to the check-in window. “Am I at the right place?” she asked no… Continue reading Oh No, Not the Warriors!
Beware of Craigslist?
(re-run) I’d sold a thousand dollars’ worth of tea cups and dinner plates the year before. When Sis moved in with me, I had to let all that inventory go. It hadn’t been selling that well on Etsy anyway, and Etsy had just changed its policies and had kicked me off their site. Why? Because… Continue reading Beware of Craigslist?
Interfacing with Nature
(re-run) I live in a town that backs up to a gorgeous mountain in the middle of an otherwise-flat part of the San Francisco Bay Area. Bicyclists come from all over to climb Mt. Diablo and then get their joy ride on the way down the winding road. The hiking here is phenomenal, and the… Continue reading Interfacing with Nature
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
(re-run) They met online on okcupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
Best Ed Sullivan Show Ever
(re-run) Carol grew up in in Pueblo, Colorado, which was called the little Pittsburg of the West. Her dad was a steelworker. Her mom was a lab tech phlebotomist at the hospital. Whenever one of the kids got sick, her mom would bring home a hypodermic needle in her purse to draw some blood. “To… Continue reading Best Ed Sullivan Show Ever
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender, full of confidence, at an upscale restaurant. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a good-looking… Continue reading At Face Value
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 