I often dream about finding a public bathroom to use right before I wake up. It’s because I have to pee. Two nights ago I dreamed I was in a crowded restaurant and when I went into the bathroom, there were tables in there with groups of women seated around them. I stood at the… Continue reading To Pee or Not to Pee
Category: best
Cut Loose on a Saturday Afternoon
“I like the way you dance,” he said to me last Saturday afternoon. Margo and I had gone to Vino Godfather, a cool little winery in an old Victorian house on Mare Island in Vallejo. The island used to be a naval base, judging from the abandoned barracks on the way to the winery. A… Continue reading Cut Loose on a Saturday Afternoon
Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
The joke going around social media is that if you want to get rid of your junk, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on your porch. It’s not that funny around my neighborhood. Porch pirates are everywhere this time of year. Neighbors are sure to tell each other when they will be… Continue reading Porch Pirates, Poinsettias and Peaches
The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
In Australia, there is a Holstein steer that is six feet, four inches tall. That’s one big bovine! I first heard about him on the nightly news tonight. Then I Googled the guy to see what else I could find out about him. His name is Knickers. He is too big to fit in the… Continue reading The Overachieving Steer, Knickers
Woodstock or Work?
In 1969 Max Yasgur’s pig farm in upstate New York sounded like the place to be for three days and three nights. Frank had been delivering the Woodstock tickets for weeks on Long Island at his job as a summer letter carrier for the U.S. Post Office. He and the other summer carriers knew it… Continue reading Woodstock or Work?
Tattoos for You
I look around and see athletes with tattoos, ex-military people with tattoos, mothers of small children with tattoos . . .
Shop Till You Drop
We had already hit two thrift stores and were heading for a third. Then I remembered that Vickie wanted to go to the ones in Carmel. I turned onto Forest Avenue and took the winding highway 68 through the Monterey pines. It would lead to the new roundabout that would send the traffic north to… Continue reading Shop Till You Drop
The Politics of Dating
(Dialogue on a first date between senior man and senior woman) “You look nice.” “Sorry I am late.” “Let me tell you about my third wife.” “I have two dogs.” “I used to work on defense missiles.” “You must like to play video games.” “I like you.” “I am not a Republican, but I bet… Continue reading The Politics of Dating
Date with a Cad
Against her better judgment Svetlana met up with a man from Match and….drum roll….he met her expectations of the Cad. A cad is a man who is aware of the codes of conduct, which separate a gentleman from a ruffian, but finds himself unable to live up to them. Cads are capable of disguising themselves as good… Continue reading Date with a Cad
I Said Yes
I said yes. To a date. With a much older man. My girlfriend met him and didn’t approve. But she also said she wouldn’t dance with any guy she wouldn’t want to kiss. I dance with everyone – men, women, kids – many of whom I would never put my lips on. Does dancing have… Continue reading I Said Yes
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 