(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender at an upscale restaurant, full of confidence. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a good-looking… Continue reading At Face Value
Category: worst
Romance Coast to Coast
(re-run) Nicky went back to Connecticut to see his mother.“You’ve got to meet this cute Italian girl working in my office,” a friend said.“I’m only here for a week,” said Nicky.“My wife is in night class with a cute Italian girl,” another friend said. “You two should meet.”“I’m only here for a week,” Nicky said,… Continue reading Romance Coast to Coast
Jerky Jokester
(re-run) Elena lived in San Francisco. She went to the Cingular store to get a phone line. Fidel saw her and helped her get one set up. She filled out the paperwork and then changed her mind. He put the paperwork into the shredder but then asked her for her phone number. “If you want… Continue reading Jerky Jokester
Phantom of the Halloween Party
(re-run) Roberto put on the white mask and black cape and headed to WPLJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
Spinning a Spider Story
(re-run) My strength and toning instructor loves to tell us trivia while we work out. Last week she said spiders are the most active between 6 and 8 p.m. and that the female spiders go out looking for food at that time. The males follow. Isn’t that just like a male anyway, to wait until… Continue reading Spinning a Spider Story
Big Jack, Little Jack
Teaching high school didn’t open up many dating possibilities at work, unless you count the weird science teacher with the orange stick-up hair and the pocket protector, or the short English teacher who did impersonations as well as anyone on Saturday Night Live. One night, as I was complaining that I couldn’t find any good… Continue reading Big Jack, Little Jack
Mountain Lion
(re-run) It has happened again, this time in El Dorado County in the Sierra Foothills. Two brothers went hunting for antler shed, and instead they tussled with a mountain lion (mama?). The younger brother (18) has traumatic facial cuts and the older brother died (21). It’s so sad for that family. Didn’t they know it’s… Continue reading Mountain Lion
Joe Average
(re-run) Emily met Joe on Match.com. They both liked the SF Giants. They both lived in Livermore, although he worked in Alameda and had to get up early at 4:00 a.m. for his job. Joe made an exception to stay up late one night so he could meet Emily and buy her dinner. Emily had… Continue reading Joe Average
Scariest Student Ever
(re-run) During my ten years of teaching public school, I had many a student that caused me grief. The 8th grader transfer student who called me a bitch in front of the whole class on his first day. The brilliant 7th grade boy who lit matches in the hallway and dropped them on… Continue reading Scariest Student Ever
When You Hit a Girl with your Truck
(re-run) I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t speeding. I hadn’t been drinking. Otherwise I would’ve killed her. She ran out in front of me at 4 o’clock on a Monday afternoon. I didn’t see her until her long hair was flying up in front of my hood. I slammed on the brakes and sat there in… Continue reading When You Hit a Girl with your Truck
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 