(re-run) It sounds like a country western song. “Well, my true love done left me. He mosied ‘round the bend. It makes me sad that I’m heading back to my fat pants again!” In the winter, when I can hide under many layers, I am thinnest. Maybe it’s all the no-calorie tea and hot water… Continue reading Back in my Fat Pants Again
Category: humor
A Great Dane Story
(re-run) When I was thirteen, I hung out at my neighbor Bonnie’s house, just one block away from mine, but it was different world. Both her parents worked full time, so we teens could be there with no parental supervision. We were supervised, though, by the family’s Great Danes. I remember three dogs, but there… Continue reading A Great Dane Story
Nature’s Prayer Moment
(re-run) Yesterday morning I stepped up to the kitchen sink to fill the tea pot and looked out my window at the flowers exploding in my yard. I glanced over to the fountain where I saw dozens of identical birds taking drinks in a clumped up circle around the top of my round fountain. Their… Continue reading Nature’s Prayer Moment
Worst Kindergarten Teacher Ever
(re-run) She was thin, blond, and beautiful. When Mama left me in her care, I was enthralled with her, my very first teacher. Her name was Miss Tatz, and she was the lone teacher in the community building at Urbandale Lions Park, an overflow situation for the school district. Even though it was sixty-three years… Continue reading Worst Kindergarten Teacher Ever
Be Careful Who You Hike With
(re-run) First of all, the title should be Be Careful with Whom You Hike, but I figured only English teachers would read the post if I did it that way. An old bf asked me to go on a hike with him. I said yes a little too quickly. Looking back, Bob (not his real… Continue reading Be Careful Who You Hike With
At Face Value
(re-run) Mark was a good-looking bartender, full of confidence, at an upscale restaurant. He’d say his face was his moneymaker and that you need to use what your mama gave you. Mark went onto Bumble to find a date. He waited until a woman messaged him (that’s how Bumble works). Her photo showed a good-looking… Continue reading At Face Value
The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
(re-run) Every morning, as I sit at my kitchen table putting up my blog post and sipping on strong tea, a robin comes near the back porch to meet its reflection in an upside-down chrome dog bowl. The robin does a little dance in front of the bowl. The reflection does a dance back to… Continue reading The Robin and the Chrome Bowl
Date with an Older Man
(re-run) I said yes. To a date. With a much older man. My girlfriend met him and didn’t approve. But she also said she wouldn’t dance with any guy she wouldn’t want to kiss. I dance with everyone – men, women, kids – many of whom I would never put my lips on. Does dancing… Continue reading Date with an Older Man
Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
(re-run) Pam ran a personal ad in the Contra Costa Times: Single white female looking for single Asian man. Her two previous boyfriends had been Asian. James called and left a message with his phone number on a Friday night. The next morning Pam checked her phone messages. She liked his voice as she listened… Continue reading Do You Want a Cookie, Little Girl?
Mountain Lion
(re-run) A mountain lion attack was reported on the news last night. A 24-year-old woman’s dog saved her life in Trinity Forest in Northern California. The mountain lion attacked the woman first, but her Belgian Malinois shepherd named Eva jumped in and is now in serious condition. Cub season is now until October. The lion… Continue reading Mountain Lion
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 