(re-run) My childhood house on 69th Street in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa, had a big bump in the backyard. It’s where my grandfather built a fall-out shelter that connected to our basement. It was during the Cold War, and thoughts of atomic bombs being dropped on us was enough to motivate him to… Continue reading Bomb Shelter Blues
Month: September 2023
The Blond-tourage
(re-run) Every woman over fifty gets the same advice from her hairdresser — lighten up your hair. As our skin fades and our looks do, too, we need brighter lipstick, sparkly-er clothing and blonder locks to stay looking as young as we can. My apologies to women of color; this may not apply to you.… Continue reading The Blond-tourage
The Saga of the Spider
(re-run) Today, at my sister’s board and care home, as I was reading her the newspaper, I glanced out the large sliding glass door and noticed a huge spider web with a spider in the center. It was one and a half inches across and yellow with red stripes on the legs. I took several… Continue reading The Saga of the Spider
Dieting, Body Image, and Stay Out of my Business
(re-run) “Are you going to eat all of that?” I was sitting at a table in the teachers’ lounge, my lunch spread out before me. There was a sandwich, a red apple, carrot sticks and a glass of juice, maybe a chocolate or two. Why was the teacher I barely knew commenting on my lunch?… Continue reading Dieting, Body Image, and Stay Out of my Business
Fix Your Past Mistakes, or Get a Million Dollars?
(re-run) A Facebook post asks if you’d rather go back in time and fix all of your mistakes or don’t do that and get $1,000,000 instead. That’s easy. People will take the money. What if the choice were, go back in time and fix all your mistakes or don’t (no money)? I’d say no to… Continue reading Fix Your Past Mistakes, or Get a Million Dollars?
Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
(re-run) They met online on okcupid. The horizontal happened fast. Things were going well, so after six months, Barry gave up his ugly apartment and bought a condo. She moved in right away. Then he started to notice her temper: 1. If the house wasn’t perfectly clean at all times. 2. If his son’s dog… Continue reading Bad Things that Come in Small Packages
Lock It Down
When we were in our twenties and thirties, we were looking for a husband and father of our future children. Our biological clocks ticked louder the closer we got to 35, the cut-off point for a low-risk pregnancy. Yes, older women give birth after that, but fertility drops off in the thirties, and it is… Continue reading Lock It Down
Porn for Women
There is a little book series out there called Porn for Women. It has shirtless men doing exciting things that turn on a typical woman, like vacuuming, doing dishes, and changing diapers. Why? Because a woman’s mind works differently than a man’s.A man sees a woman on the Victoria’s Secret commercial and is ready to go.… Continue reading Porn for Women
Don’t Blame the Bees
I went to music in the park Saturday evening. The place was packed for one of the best local bands, East Bay Mudd. Every spot was taken by 5:30. The band played from six to 8:30. At about 7:00, my friend came over to me on the dance floor and said a bee had stung… Continue reading Don’t Blame the Bees
Getting Some Action
Hooking up, doing the nasty, bumping uglies.Getting down, kicking it, going all the way.Doing it, doing the deed.There are many euphemisms for having sex, or as Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory would say, “having coitus,” and once he even said, “Dance with no pants.”In the olden days, someone wrote a song about making whoopee. Having sex… Continue reading Getting Some Action
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 