Category: hospital

The Eight-stick Day or Colonoscopy from H#$l

Posted in 12 Days of Christmas, ambulance, girl friends, hospital, IV, memoir, nurse, phlebotomist4 Comments

(re-run) People over fifty have to have colonoscopies to make sure they don’t have colon cancer, although my chorus friend Travis, who just turned 51, says there’s a less-invasive test nowadays. Not for me. I was due for my ten-year test, so I bought the clean-out meds and took them at the prescribed time. They… Continue reading The Eight-stick Day or Colonoscopy from H#$l

Watch Out for the Green Pepper

Posted in dancing, dating, dogs, food, Fred Flintstone, hiking, hospital, humor, passive aggressive, podiatrist, relationships, stitches, Uncategorized1 Comment

I can’t eat green pepper. I can’t eat a lot of things. The older I get, the more things I need a certain way to keep me happy. When I was four years into a past relationship, I knew it was in trouble when the boyfriend started adding green pepper to everything he served me.… Continue reading Watch Out for the Green Pepper

Popsicles, Light Carpet, and Stitches

Posted in babies, best, California, childhood, children, daughter, emergency room, feet, firsts, holidays, hospital, humor, memoir, mom, nine year old, pain, parents, relationships, summer, worstLeave a comment

(re-run) It was Labor Day weekend. We needed to get a handle on the mess in the garage. I asked my oldest to watch my youngest while we parents worked outside. She was nine, in 4th grade already for a week, and the baby was almost two and a half. Then a series of unfortunate… Continue reading Popsicles, Light Carpet, and Stitches

Horseback Riding on a First Date

Posted in allergies, bar, dancing, Ecuador, horse, horseback riding, hospital, marriage, parachute pants, relationships, welts1 Comment

Juan met two women one night while dancing in a bar. He had a matchbook with one of the Donna’s phone numbers on it and another matchbook with the other Donna’s name and number on it. He couldn’t remember which was which, so he picked a matchbook and called. “Hi, this is Juan. Are you… Continue reading Horseback Riding on a First Date

Four Blobs of Beige

Posted in aging, California, caregiver, dogs, family, hospital, humor, memoir, rehab, relationships, seniors, skilled nursing facility, Spanish, worstLeave a comment

(re-run) The lunch plate has a light beige blob, a medium beige blob, and a dark beige blob. One blob turns out to be pureed bagel. It is Sister’s rehab in a Jewish community home. The signs are in both English and Hebrew. The synagogue has gorgeous stained glass windows. The doors are all automatic.… Continue reading Four Blobs of Beige

The Eight-stick Day

Posted in 12 Days of Christmas, ambulance, girl friends, hospital, IV, memoir, nurse, phlebotomistLeave a comment

People over fifty have to have colonoscopies to make sure they don’t have colon cancer, although my chorus friend Travis, who just turned 51, says there’s a less-invasive test nowadays. Not for me. I was due for my ten-year test, so I bought the clean-out meds and took them at the prescribed time. They didn’t… Continue reading The Eight-stick Day

If It’s Cloudy It Must Be a Cleaning Day

Posted in best, California, caregiver, cleaning, hospital, humor, memoir, relationshipsLeave a comment

re-run Weather affects my mood. If I wake up to a sunny bright day, I want to get out, go exercise, go shopping, rake my yard, buy a fountain.  If it’s raining, I want to cook some soup, make cookies, and read a book. If it’s cloudy, I want to organize my office, wash the… Continue reading If It’s Cloudy It Must Be a Cleaning Day