She’d tried them all — Match, eharmony, Our Time, Chemistry, Zoosk, Okay Cupid, and Coffee Meets Bagel. She’d had her share of weirdos and had learned to use a fake name, fake town, and a fake place of work. She had been stalked in the past. Now she knew how to do it and be… Continue reading Marathon Man
Category: firsts
Too Tired to Boogie
The band room was a freezer. “Vamos a sentarnos en el pasillo, clase.” “What?” “We’ll sit in the hallway today.” It was zero degrees outside. The school district wanted a Spanish class but had no classroom for me. I’d complained a zillion times – when the band teacher held private tuba lessons in his office,… Continue reading Too Tired to Boogie
Phantom of the Halloween Party
Roberto put on his white mask and black cape and headed to WLPJ’s in Walnut Creek for his singles’ club annual Halloween party. Available middle-aged women milled around the bar in their skimpy alter-ego outfits. There were: Slutty witches Slutty fairy tale characters Slutty mermaids Slutty nurses and slutty vampires. Oh, which one to dance… Continue reading Phantom of the Halloween Party
Head in the Clouds Harry
They met at the Appalachian Mountain club, an organization for sporting events in Boston. He was athletic looking with a nice smile. Harry asked Margo to go on a short hike with him in New Hampshire. She agreed to drive separately and meet him at the trailhead since she had a dinner to attend that… Continue reading Head in the Clouds Harry
Big Jack, Little Jack
Teaching high school didn’t open up many dating possibilities at work, unless you count the weird science teacher with the orange stick-up hair and the pocket protector, or the short English teacher who did impersonations as well as anyone on Saturday Night Live. One night, as I was complaining that I couldn’t find any good… Continue reading Big Jack, Little Jack
A Double Date?
They met online. Veronica liked his blue eyes, just like her late husband’s. He liked her lean frame and told her so. She enjoyed the morning email exchanges for a couple of weeks. He harassed her for eating at Chick-fil-A since the business had just come out as anti-gay. She was a Southern girl and… Continue reading A Double Date?
The Cat Lady
She seemed normal enough. James met her on the softball diamond — he was playing, shortstop, she played second base. It was a singles club event for Labor Day. He wasn’t an actual member but showed up on the holidays. Beth was sort of cute, her body pretty good for fifty plus. He was also… Continue reading The Cat Lady
Do the Hustle
Guido met Marsha at a famous bar called Rex and Eric’s in Waikiki. He lived locally. She was on vacation. He’d put on his five gold chains, unbuttoned his billowy polyester shirt with the big collar to reveal just enough chest hair, stepped into a pair of black high-waisted pants that hugged his tight butt,… Continue reading Do the Hustle
Leroy, the Farmer Boy
It was a Saturday night and the dorm floor was deserted. Everyone was off doing something fun. Ellie sat at her desk trying to study Biology 101, but she wasn’t feeling it. A dorm mate burst in and asked her if she wanted to go on a double date right then and there, to a… Continue reading Leroy, the Farmer Boy
Why So Many First Worsts
In scrounging around for a first-worst-date story this week (after all, I’ve already done my own dates from Ames, Omaha, and Walnut Creek – how many first-worsts can one person have?), I discovered something. I hate some of my friends, the ones who’ve never had a bad date, ever. First there is Jim, whom I… Continue reading Why So Many First Worsts
FIRST DATE, WORST DATE EVER! 